“Youtook a risk? Apart from the fact that you had little choice but to take me with you, what about my risk? I lied to the chief to cover your sorry ass, not even knowingwhatI’m covering for. Up until now I’ve been telling myself as long as we solve the case and rescue all those poor victims, it doesn’t matter what you do, but now my career is on the line. The chief paired us so I could have an eye on you, and now I’m not delivering, which makes me look bad.” The words came out far sharper than George had intended, and when he saw Andi flinch, he regretted them immediately. It was too late, though. Now a responding anger was glowing in Andi’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry your precious career may take a hit. I never wanted a partner to begin with, and whatever deal you have with the chief? Fuck you both! I’m just trying to do my job, helping people. Why can’t you leave me alone?” Andi didn’t wait for an answer. He pushed the door open, got out with movements made graceless by anger, and slammed the door shut again. George watched him storming toward the entrance of his house. He slammed his own head against the headrest and hit the steering wheel with a slapping sound.
“Fucking damn!”
George opened his seat belt, got out of the car, and followed Andi, who was fumbling with his keys, too agitated to find the right one. George suppressed the urge to touch Andi’s shoulder, knowing the gesture wouldn’t be welcome at the moment, if ever again.
“Andi, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“It sure sounded so.” Andi’s voice was no longer angry. He sounded lost and sad and lonely and utterly tired. Even more than after their last argument. George knew his partner was running on empty batteries, on sheer determination without any substance to back it up, and yet he had added to his burden.
“Look, I can be a total asshole, I know. Especially when I’m out of my depth. Until now, my life has been a series of meticulously planned steps, each one bringing me closer to my career goals. Now I suddenly find myself doing things that have the potential to destroy what I’ve been working for so long, and it makes me nervous. When I get nervous, I make bad decisions, as everybody in my family can tell you. I’m sorry.”
Andi’s shoulders slumped visibly at his words. He finally found the right key and put it in the lock. “I understand. It’s just… I….” Andi took a deep breath. “If I tell you, you’ll think I’m crazy, and I don’t want that. I like having you as a partner. I do. Which is surprising.” He turned the key, and the door opened. George waited for Andi to say something else, and when he didn’t, George finally dared to touch his elbow.
“You’re aware nothing you’re going to tell me will even come close to what I’ve been imagining?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Andi mumbled but didn’t shy away from his touch.
“Andi, one of my working theories is you’re an alien stranded on earth. I don’t think it can get any crazier.”
Andi looked at him with furrowed brows. “I have to admit, that’s an interesting idea.” He sighed, his shoulders slumping even more. He looked so vulnerable George wanted to wrap him in his arms to protect him from all harm. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out.”
George could feel it in the air, taste it on his lips. Andi was thinking about telling him. A part of George was ecstatic with joy that his partner would trust him with his biggest secret so soon after they met. Another part was frozen by the weight of responsibility Andi was dropping on him. If he knew, he had to decide whether to help Andi and cover for him or throw him to the wolves. He stared into Andi’s tired eyes, not seeing any hope in them, just resignation. How long had he been carrying this burden that he got so close to breaking after a week? Had Andi been so starved for a bit of sympathy and a shred of loyalty—because so far George had offered him nothing more—that his walls were already cracking? It was a strange feeling, seeing a man George had come to perceive as strong and unapproachable so vulnerable. A feeling close to pity, though mixed with respect and admiration, welled in George’s chest. It made the question he had even harder to ask.
“Why would you trust me all of a sudden? We don’t know each other well, and I just admitted I’m working for the chief.” It felt alien, being so open about something shady, baring himself amidst the secrets that were part of his job, not knowing if what he wanted to learn really was worth finding out or if the price, for once, might be too high.
“I don’t trust you.” The words were like a bucket of ice-cold water. “I don’t trust anybody with my secret. The few people who know—my family—they deal with it rather poorly. So I guess I’m going to tell you to assure myself that being secretive and reclusive, shutting others out, is the only way for me.” Andi stepped through the door, gesturing for George to follow. “Besides, nobody’s going to believe you anyway. My risk of exposure is small.” He said it so matter-of-factly, George had to snort even though their topic was so serious. Andi’s words confirmed what George had just pondered—his partnerwaslonely, and George was convinced he used his level tone and words to shield himself from a disappointment he didn’t want to suffer but thought was inevitable. That he still seemed to nourish at least a tiny spark of hope made George even more determined not to let Andi down. He tried to lighten the mood with a small joke.
“You’re saying it as if it’s a given I’m going to disappoint you. I think I’m insulted.”
Andi led the way to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge to retrieve two bottles of water. “Don’t be. That’s just how things are.” So much for lightening the mood.
“Fine.” George opened the bottle Andi handed him and took a sip. He put it on the kitchen counter and looked expectantly at Andi. “Tell me.”
Andi froze for a moment. His eyes went wide like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. Then he let out a shaky breath. His hands trembled, as George could see when he put his own water on the counter next to George’s. The words that followed the soft plop of the water bottle making contact with the granite countertop had George freezing.
“I can talk to insects.”
Chapter 21—Leaping off the Rock
ANDI LOOKEDat George, waiting for his reaction. The man was just staring at him, still as a statue. Then he slowly narrowed his eyes.
“Excuse me, I just heard you saying you can talk to insects.”
“Yes. I can. I do. Well, not really talk, they don’t do that. Talk, I mean. I see the world through their eyes, so to speak.”
George reached for his bottle, lifted it, put it back down, frowned at it, probably wishing it was something stronger. Andi was glad it wasn’t so George’s reactions weren’t enhanced by alcohol. Liquor made everything worse. “And that’s where you get your information?”
So far, the man was taking it quite well. No screaming, no blatant dismissal, or outright disbelief. Andi was feeling a small tendril of hope blooming in his chest, foolish as it may be. “Yes. I’ve inherited it from my grandmother on my mother’s side. Her family calls it thegeschenk, which is German forpresent, though I see it more as a curse. Anyway, I can access information nobody else can, which is how I solve my cases. There’s no place on earth without arthropods.”
“And you’re expecting me to believe that?” George’s tone was still low, lacking the aggressiveness Andi had come to associate with talking about hisgeschenk.
“Well, you just told me you were willing to believe I’m an alien. Isn’t it better if I’m from earth?”
George gaped at him, clearly not knowing if he should laugh or scream. He finally settled on a humorless chuckle before his expression turned serious again.
“Is that how you knew about the bodies in the storage unit?” His tone was tentative, as if he was trying to his best to give Andi’s claim a chance. Or perhaps he was already contemplating how to convince the chief to get rid of Andi as quickly as possible. It was hard to tell because George’s face now resembled more a Kabuki mask than something human.
