Fifteen
Patrick
The day had been long, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than Poppy and how she was doing with everything.I had tried to give her space because I wasn’t sure what she needed, but when I saw her sitting on the couch with her knees pulled to her chest as she tried to hide her tears from me, I decided that was enough.She was mine to take care of, and I was going to do just that.
“I got you,” I said softly as I sat beside her and wrapped my arms around her.She didn’t fight me as she leaned into my touch and cried harder.“Whatever you need, I’ve got you.”
I held Poppy while she cried, but I couldn’t deny that it changed something deep inside of me.Helping Poppy was easy.She was my best friend’s cousin, which made her practically family.But the more time I spent with her and the deeper I got involved with everything, the more I realized I was in way over my head.We had only slept together once, so it wasn’t like we were dating.I had no claim to her, even if I wanted to.She was still married—or widowed if we were being technical.
Her body trembled against mine as she wept, but I didn’t ask any questions until she was ready.A few minutes later, she pulled away and wiped at her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie before looking at me.
“I killed my husband,” she said, choking back a sob as a tear ran down her face.“I’m a murderer.”
“You’re not a murderer, Poppy,” I assured her, making sure she saw the truth in my eyes.“You protected yourself the only way you could.That’s different and no one can blame you for what you did.”
“I took a life, Pat.I killed him.”
“I know, baby.I know.But you were only protecting yourself.”
“What kind of terrible person am I that I could just take a life and then not think twice about it as I tried to get rid of his body?Who does that?Why didn’t I call the police and tell them what happened?I didn’t have to kill him—I could have—”
“You know what would have happened if you called the police.They would have come out and taken his side.You know they wouldn’t have gone against the sheriff.You did what you had to do, Poppy, and I will die on that hill.”
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.Maybe I deserve to feel like this.Maybe this is my karma for what I did.”
“I will never try to tell you how to feel aboutanythingbecause I think it’s important for you to feel what you need to feel.But I will promise you that no matter what happens, I’ll be there.There’s nothing you can do that will force me away, Poppy.You’re not a bad person; you just got caught up with a bad man.That’s all over now.You can take a deep breath and relax knowing that he can never hurt you again.No one can, because I won’t allow it.You’re safe, and it’s okay to move forward and leave this behind you.I’m not sayingnotto feel what you’re feeling, I’m just saying that I’m here to help you see the positive side of things.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you,” she whispered, leaning in to hug me.
Even though we were technicallyfriends, I couldn’t help but feel the pain of the dagger that pierced my heart when she said it.
****************
Afew hours later,we were cooking dinner together in the kitchen while she hummed Christmas songs under her breath.I hated that it was only a few weeks until Christmas, and I didn’t have a single decoration up.She was stuck with me while trying to deal with everything with her husband, so the least I could do was make her stay here a little more festive.
I set the ladle down and jogged into the living room, laughing when Travis went with me.He didn’t stop and smacked right into the couch, leaving him a little dazed as he looked up at me with those sad puppy eyes.
“You have to be careful, buddy,” I said as I picked up the chewed-up TV remote and scratched the top of his head.“You’re not as big or tough as you think you are.”
He whined and laid down, showing me his belly.
“Not right now,” I told him, shaking my head.“I’ll give you tummy scratches later.Right now I have to make dinner.”
He continued laying there, not giving a damn what I had to say.I pulled up my music app and found a Christmas playlist, making sure it was loud enough for Poppy to hear.Her head perked up when she heard the song she had been humming start to play.
I set the remote out of Travis’s reach and went back to the kitchen, returning Poppy’s smile as I opened the oven and checked on the meatloaf.
It had been a long time since I’d made meatloaf, but I wanted to make a comforting meal for her tonight.Even though we knew why she had killed Dale, it didn’t erase the feelings that had threatened to consume her that she had taken a life.Just because she didn’t love him and needed to protect herself didn’t mean she was void of emotion.
I pulled the meatloaf out of the oven and set it on the trivet before stirring the gravy.Poppy had insisted on mashing the potatoes, and I didn’t fight her on it when I saw how much force she was using.She needed to burn off some energy, and I got it.I wasn’t going to stand in the way of her giving those potatoes hell.
