My heart stops as I listen to this, tears continue to flow from my eyes. He steps closer to me bringing a hand to my cheek.
“I knew what I was feeling for you was real because you are real Lillypad. I know I fucked up God help me I know. Please Lillypad, believe me when I say you mean everything to me. You are my ruin, and I want you to ruin me until my last breath.”
I want to scream I want nothing more than to punch him and hurt him the way he hurt me. But I can’t bring myself to do it.
I pulled away from his touch, where he placed his hand on my face. It is warm but it burns with regret.
“You expect me to believe you?”
I tell him as tears still flow and my blood boils.
“I’ve always been the girl you sleep with to feel something again, the girl you take on midnight rides and show your hidden spots to.”
The tears are hot burning streaks on my face.
“But I’m the girl who never gets the guy.”
He steps forward but I step back.
“Lillypad don’t-”
He reaches for my face but again I slap his hand away.
“Don’t what Adonis? You used me, you told me things you’ve never told anyone else. Yet all I was to you was a pawn in your game.”
He looks more hurt than me right now and I can’t help but scoff.
“You can tell me all this when we are alone, but when it comes to your friends you can’t say it to them? No, all you can tell them is how I am a pig and how I am nothing more than what? A means to an end. I know my worth and God knows why but you showed me my worth. I won’t let you break that. I won't let anyone break that.”
He looks at me wanting to reach out and touch me.
I see him clench his fist and suddenly I’m brought back to Maxwell.
“What happened to him?”
“To whom?”
“Maxwell, where is he?”
He looks away from me and I see him clench his jaw.
“No. He can’t be. You didn’t”
I say and he turns to me.
“I had to. There are things I have to do to protect you-”
“Protect me? PROTECT ME! I don’t need you to protect me!”
I look up at him and slap him.
“You killed him and now you’re going to kill me! You said so yourself.”
I can feel the pain in my throat. It stings.
“Lillypad please I lo-”
I smacked him again, feeling the sting lingering on my palm. I can feel regret building in my stomach.
