I feel my blood beginning to boil, and tears begin to form but I won’t allow them to fall.
“Hey, wait, ghostie, no, you got it all wrong.”
He takes a step forward, and I take two steps back.
“Don't,”
I tell him, and before I know it, I feel my legs move on their own, where are they taking me? I don't know, but I want to get far away from here.
I finally come to a stop; I notice I'm by the lake near my home, slumping on the ground near the water, I take my sheet off. I look at my reflection in the water and see myself for what I am—the fat, funny, unlovable friend.
I feel the tears come down my face, and I cry; I cry because I hate the girl staring back at me, I hate the body she has, I hate the wavy brown hair and the dimples she has. I hate the shit brown eyes and the faint freckles on her nose.
I sob and sob until my tears run dry. I breathe in, look at myself again, and reach out to the water to wash my face when I suddenly hear a twig snap behind me.
“Who's there?”
I say but get no response in return. I wash my face in the lake and sit back.
I look up at the sky, the moon shining and the stars twinkling in the night sky; I sigh because I left my friends at the party and knowing them, they are probably worried to death. I pull out my phone and see 15 missed calls and nearly 50 text messages, suddenly a chill runs down my spine and I can feel Liz ready to kill me. I dial Mary knowing she won’t bite my head off.
“LILLIAN, WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU JUST RAN OUT OF THE PARTY!”
Liz yells at me. So much for calling Mary.
“I'm sorry; I just needed space. I'm okay; I just decided to go home.”
Liz stays silent for a moment than said,
“Lilly, just call us when you’re home, okay?”
I hear the worry in her voice.
“Of course.”
I sigh and hang up the call, feeling another tear roll down my cheek.
God, I am a joke; I look at myself again in the water.
“How hideous,”
I say, and I stand up. I brush the dirt off of me and look around. I feel uneasy like someone, or something is staring at me, watching me like I am its prey. I shake my head, take my shoes off, and step into the water. I sigh heavily and relax; the water has always felt like a home to me; it calms me. I start to relax and splash a little bit, I giggle to myself, kick the water again, and spin around this time; I take my hair down and spin again, letting myself get lost in nature's embrace.
I have always felt free and happy out here in the woods. I feel at ease. I started to sing, just a song I remember from early childhood. I sing and hear my echoes, and it's almost like a melody just by myself. I smile and sing more and make myself feel at ease. Suddenly I hear another twig snap sending chills down my spine again.
“Hello? Is someone out there?”
I don’t get an answer. I continue to dance in the water.
I stop moving and look up at the sky again, and this time, I smile; I reach into the water and let myself get lost again. I stand up and get out of the water as it gets colder. I picked up my shoes and started to walk home.
I get home and plop on my bed with a big thud. I turned onto my back and looked up at my ceiling, I lay there thinking about Adonis, how he looked hurt when I had suggested there was a bet, he looked taken aback as if I just misjudged him completely.
I started to think about the way his hands felt on my hips, they were strong and firm, I feel myself starting to get flustered.
“Ugh this is so wrong.”
I say to myself but then I start to imagine Adonis, shirtless in front of me on his knees, I pull my pants off and push my panties to the side. I start to imagine him spreading my legs slowly open.
