“Look at you, my sweet Magnolia. You take me so well,” he praises. When he pushes as deep as my body will allow, I whimper. It is an overwhelmingly full feeling that he is creating. “Let’s see how much my girl can take, hmm?”
I moan in response as he draws out of me, but I scream out my pleasure when he suddenly slams back in. Beau starts fucking me hard and deep, but keeps a slow pace. It is punishing yet gentle, all at the same time. The way he can twist sweet lovemaking and a brutal fucking together is mind blowing.
“Fuck, that’s good,” I moan. “More. Please, more.”
“My greedy little girl,” he says as he drops my legs to roll us. He immediately grabs my hips and starts fucking me from below while I support myself with my hands on his chest. I cannot think or speak beyond the intensity of his thrusts. There are no lurking shadows waiting to drag me back into the darkness. I can’t hear the demons trying to convince me that I’m anything but worthy of love and respect. The dysfunction and chaos that usually swirls my thoughts have no place in this momentbecause every brutal thrust is a reminder that he has wanted this for so long, that we have both wanted this for so long.
We were young and dumb, but before I could make sense of my decisions, I was swept into the darkness by someone almost twice my age. I was convinced that he loved me, and he had never known happiness the way he experienced it with me. I believed him because I had no reason to doubt the overwhelming amount of feigned love that he gave me. He was so sweet that I didn’t realize that he was feeding me bullshit until it was too late.
Beau is pounding into me with everything that he has, and I have resorted to lying on his chest with my face buried in his neck as he has his arms tightly banded around my body. My hips move in perfect synchrony with him as we collide. My belly aches, but it’s like a drug that I cannot get enough of. One taste and I’m fucking addicted to him. Maybe this is yet another mistake, but it feels so right. All I can see is an endless number of green flags, all pointing me back to Beau.
“Oh, Beau,” I moan. “I’m gonna come. Oh my God, Beau.”
Beau growls in response and pulls my face closer to kiss me hard. We both moan as we start to fall, desperate for release. Desperate to come. I have taken over the movements as I break our kiss to pull myself up onto my hands again for better leverage. He cups my breasts, gently squeezing and massaging. I can feel his hot breath on my chest before roughly sucking on my nipple. It triggers something in my brain, and all at once, an orgasm explodes inside of me. It sends a hot wave of fire through my body, but I’m not afraid of getting burned. I let the flames consume me as I pull us through our release. When the feeling starts to fade, he pulls me down to his chest as I collapse. We are both panting, but almost simultaneously, we start laughing.
“You’re a freaky little thing,” Beau says breathlessly.
“You have a monstrously large dick,” I mutter.
“You must not be too offended, considering it’s still inside you,” he chuckles and kisses the top of my head.
“Beau, I don’t think I’m physically capable of moving right now. It’s okay where it is,” I say.
“Hang out for too long and I’ll fuck you again,” he laughs.
“You’ll be fucking me in my sleep.”
“There we go. I can just fuck away the nightmares,” he says.
“I know you meant that as a joke, but I’m game. Have at it if it means I stop waking up panicking.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. I sit up slightly, and he is smiling.
“Are you sure you want me?” I ask.
“Yes, Maggie,” he says. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry if I came off strong. I just… I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. When you didn’t show up for your parents’ funeral, I thought you were gone forever.”
“I tried to come, but I ended up in the hospital,” I say. “Turns out, if you ask one too many times, then you end up with a skull fracture. Luckily, it wasn’t bad, and I didn’t have any brain bleeds.”
“That’s awful. I’m so sorry, Magnolia,” he says. “You said he was in prison?”
“Yeah. Six months ago, he was sentenced to ten years in prison for aggravated domestic battery. He will be eligible for parole after eight, but I have a lifetime protection order,” I say. “He knows that I am from Western North Carolina, but he doesn’t know where. If he gets out, he won’t be able to find me. I was looking into trying to have my last name legally changed to prevent him from finding me, but that shit is expensive.”
“Oh, don’t tell me that. I’ll take you to the courthouse,” he says, rolling us so we are lying on our side.
“Very funny,” I laugh. “I just need to find a job and save up.”
“I’m not joking, Magnolia,” he says seriously. “You just say the word and I will marry you, even if it’s only to hide from him.”
“Beau, you don’t want to marry me,” I say. “I know you’ve missed me, and I know you think that you are in love with me, but I have nothing to offer that Chris didn’t already destroy.”
“I’m not going to invalidate your feelings by telling you that you are wrong, because I do believe that you think that is true. What I will say is that I will do everything in my power to show you that you are worthy of love. I don’t need you to offer me anything, Magnolia. All I need is you. That’s it. This right here… us together… That means more to me than anything that you think you have to give me.”
“I’m broken, Beau,”. I say softly. “He did awful things to me, and it took me far too long to realize just how bad things had gotten. I got used to the chaos, and I don’t know how to relax. I don’t know how to make that part of my brain that is constantly making me think that I’m about to get hurt again shut up. One minute I can be fine, and the next minute, it’s like I’m back on the floor with his hands around my throat. It’s like a light switch, and I don’t know how to make it stop.”
“You are traumatized, baby. We don’t get to decide how long it takes to heal. We do not get to choose what works and what does not when we try to heal. You have to learn how to navigate the world without his abuse, and I will be by your side every step of the way,” he says. “I will pick you up and carry you as far as I need if it means that when I set you down, you can stand on your own two feet. You are stronger than you know, and you never should have found the strength the way you did. You are a survivor, Magnolia. Now it’s time to live.”
“You are incredible,” I say. “I don’t deserve you.”
