“You did. I had Henry run the shop, and I stayed here with you,” he says, cupping my cheek. “You need to eat.”
“Why did you let me sleep for so long, Beau?”
“Because you needed the sleep. You don’t look half dead anymore,” he smiles. “Feel better?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m surprised I slept that long, is all.”
“You slept pretty soundly when I was next to you. You only ever stirred around when I would leave the room,” he says.
“Was that the only nightmare?”
“Oh, no. That’s the only one you fully woke up for. You have night terrors,” he says.
“I’m sorry,” I frown. “I can-”
“If you suggest that you move somewhere else again, I am going to duct tape your mouth,” he says, and I smile at him. “You come down from them fairly easily. You have a lot of lead up before you get there, so many of them were avoided by me just lying with you. If you did panic, I would just hold you and you’d settle.”
“You slept with me?” I ask.
“Not in a creepy way, but yes,” he chuckles.
“Define creepy?” I ask, joining him in laughter.
“I mean I didn’t fuck you in your sleep or anything, but you did sleep cuddle up to me a lot of the time,” he says.
“Seven years and you still have the mind of a teenager,” I smile.
“Baby, men get older, but they never grow up,” he says with another playful grin.
“For the record, I didn’t think you’d fuck me in my sleep, or at all, really. I am surprised that you stayed by my side for an entire day.”
“First, I will be by your side for the rest of our lives. I meant it when I said that you are my girl. No matter if I get to make you my wife one day or if you are just my friend, I will always be here,” he says. “For the record, I would do filthy things to you. Don’t tempt me.”
“I didn’t take you for the desperate type,” I laugh. Beau grabs my waist and abruptly pulls me into his lap to straddle him, and my breath catches in my throat. “Beau, I am touch deprived. Please don’t fuck with my head.”
“What is it going to take for you to understand how fucking serious I am?” he asks.
“Serious about what?” I ask.
“You. This. Us,” he says. “I have spent seven years dreaming of you coming back. Seven years of playing a fantasy through my head of what I would say and do. Tell me right now that you never loved me, and I’ll drop it.”
“I can’t say that,” I whisper.
“And why not?” he asks, taking my face between his hands.
“Because I loved you then and I love you now, Beau,” I admit. “Chris… he… I still don’t know how he did it. I had a goal. I had dreams, and he crushed every one of them. He made it look like it was my idea. He made me feel special and loved. I was desperate to try and replace you in my mind, so it was easy for him to overwhelm me with affection. Once I was hooked, he showed me who he really was. It took less than two months for him to scream at me for the first time. It took six months for him to hit me and eight months for him to break my wrist. I was hospitalized with a concussion after eighteen months in. It took me six years to realize that I was being abused. Six long and painful years for me to want to escape. The first time I tried toleave, he beat me unconscious. The next five times I ended up with burns, scars, broken bones… but… the last time is what did it. I had finally pushed him too far.”
“What did he do?” he asks gently.
“He strangled me,” I say. “He was on top of me with his hands on my throat. No matter how hard I hit him or how much I thrashed my body to try and get out from under him, he wouldn’t let up. I knew he was going to kill me if I didn’t fight harder. I knew that he would finally destroy the last shred of my soul if I didn’t get away from him. I was able to grab hold of a book that had fallen off the shelf, and I hit him on the side of the head with it. He was dazed just enough that I was able to get up and run out of the house. I didn’t stop running until I finally saw a car. Luckily, it was a cop car. I filed charges and went to a shelter. They helped me through the court case, and I suppose I could have stayed there, but I just wanted to come home. I didn’t think I had anything left to come home, too, but I missed being here. I sold everything of value to buy that piece-of-shit car, and now I have nothing left.”
“You have me,” he says with a soft smile. “I’ll give you the world, sweet Magnolia. My girl will never know pain like that again.”
“I can’t get hurt again, Beau,” I tell him. “I want to give you what’s left of my heart, but I don’t have much else to give. I do not want you to be disappointed when you realize that the girl you used to know is gone.”
“She’s not gone,” Beau says. “She’s a little scared, but she’s still there inside of you.”
“I want to find her. I just don’t know where to look,” I admit.
