“You. Both of you. Marriage.” She exhaled slowly. “For years, I put too much pressure on her, pushing her toward what Ithought was secure and respectable. What I thought wasright. I nearly broke our relationship doing it.”
I shook my head, those old instincts rearing to the fore. “You didn’t break anything, Mom.”
“I came close.” She waved a hand in a dismissive flick that told me she wasn’t going to argue about this. “Then I turned around and did the same thing to you. I pressured you to settle, to hurry up, and to pick someone neat and tidy. Someone safe.”
My stomach tightened. “Mom?—”
“No, let me finish.” Her voice wavered, but only just barely. This was the part of Claira Shepard people rarely saw, the backbone made of iron beneath all that smooth, southern sophistication. “I thought I was helping you. It’s a mother’s job to push her children toward the life they’re supposed to want, right? It took seeing Sadie so genuinely happy to make me realize that happiness doesn’t look the same for everyone.”
I let that sink in. There were years’ worth of fights, nagging, and prodding buried beneath those words, rivers of tears cried by my sister and a lot of holes punched into the walls of the house I used to live in.
She clasped her hands tighter and lifted her gaze back to mine. “I’m sorry for pushing you, Trent. For making you feel like you owed me some kind of perfect picture.”
“Honestly? It probably was a good thing.”Never thought I’d say that, but hey. It’s true. “At least it made me get my shit together.”
She snorted. “Language.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.” She studied me for a long moment, her eyes narrowing in that way that meant she was about to peel back one layer too many. “Tell me the truth, baby. Do you love her?”
A dozen smart-ass responses came to mind. None made it past my throat. I opened my mouth, closed it again, and finally,after a few more attempts, managed to voice the truth. “Yeah. Yes, I do.”
A knowing smile spread on her lips. “Then why do you look so terrified?”
Why am I terrified? The words have been sitting in my chest like a hot coal. That’s why.I’d said them before, just to the wrong damn person and admitting that I loved Charlotte felt like handing over every vulnerable piece of myself—and hoping she wouldn’t run once she had it.
“I thought I loved Savannah,” I explained after swiping my tongue over my lips. It didn’t put a grain of moisture back on them. “I was sure of it.”
“Did you?”
“No.” I held her gaze. “I think I fooled myself into thinking that I did because of some kind of mental checklist. She was everything I thought I should want.”
“Was she?”
“Yeah,” I said, but almost immediately, I shook my head. “No. Not really.”
Mom leaned forward. “What about Charlotte?”
“It’s different with her,” I said before I could second-guess it. “It’s just so damn easy, you know? Everything just clicked into place as soon as we let it. It makes me wonder if I should’ve just kissed her under the mistletoe at that damn party and saved us both the trouble. It also would’ve saved us from wasting six months of our goddamn lives.”
Mom put a hand to her chest. “Oh my goodness, you messed up amistletoemoment?”
I groaned. “Don’t make it worse.”
She grinned, obviously too delighted. “Sweetheart, I can’t make it worse. Your bride is going to give you hell for that forever.”
“She already is.”
“I like it.” Her grin widened. “So do you.”
I didn’t argue because she was right. Charlotte’s fire and her stubborn streak were a big part of why I’d fallen for her. I loved that she refused to settle and that she knew exactly what she wanted, even if she sometimes doubted that she should.
There was a whole heap of daddy issues there. I got that, but it didn’t scare me. I knew Douglas and how he’d treated his kids. Charlotte deserved so much better than the scraps of love and attention he’d thrown her way and I intended on showing her just exactly how fucking amazing she was every chance I got.
Mom stood and rounded the desk, placing a warm hand on my shoulder. “You chose well, honey. She’s good for you.”
My throat tightened. “Do you really think so?”
