I stopped myself before I said the wordlove, but it hung in the air between us anyway.
“I’ll be better,” I finished. “If you’ll let me.”
Sylvie searched my eyes with an intensity that made me feel exposed and hopeful and terrified all at once. I could see her weighing my words, testing them against her memories of how I’d behaved before.
“What are you asking me?” she said finally.
The question was simple, but the answer felt like stepping off a cliff. I didn’t do vulnerable. I didn’t do feelings.
But if I wanted her, I had to shed that outer layer of armor and go all in.
“To give me another chance,” I said. “Not just with the business proposal, but with us. With whatever this is between us.”
CHAPTER 53
SYLVIE
That wasn’t what I’d expected. Not even close.
I felt like the ground had shifted beneath my feet.
Again.
Just when I’d finally started to find my equilibrium after his departure, just when I’d begun to accept that he was gone and I needed to move on, he’d come back and thrown all of this at me.
My head was spinning and my damn heart was doing all kinds of crazy acrobatics.
“This isn’t fair,” I said. I had to take another deep breath to try and calm my racing pulse. “This isn’t fair of you.”
Kent’s expression shifted, confusion replacing some of the vulnerability I’d seen there moments before. “What do you mean?”
“I was just starting to accept that you were gone,” I said, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. “I was starting to get my Christmas spirit back. I was able to start focusing on what really matters. And now you’re here. It’s cruel.”
“Cruel?”
“You’re playing games with me. With us. I get it, you’re rich and bored. You have too much money and you’ve already bought all of your toys, so now you want to screw with us.”
“Absolutely not,” he said. “Never. That is not what this is. You’re not a toy. This isn’t a game. I’m here making an offer because I believe in you and this place. Your family. I know it’s a worthy investment and I know you believe in it. That’s what I’m very literally banking on.”
I stopped, frustrated by my inability to articulate the chaos in my head. There were a million thoughts bouncing around but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what I was feeling. Telling him opened me up to more hurt.
I couldn’t deal with that. Not when I already had so much on my plate. I couldn’t let him be a distraction. It wasn’t fair to my family or our guests.
“Christmas Eve is in three days,” I said. “We have Santa giving out toys to the kids staying at the lodge tonight, and Mrs. Claus is coming to read books to the little ones before dinner. Tomorrow night is just for my family, our private Christmas dinner at my parents’ house. Then the Christmas Eve party, then Christmas day at the lodge, which is always the best day of the year. I have too much to do to worry about this.”
I was rambling now, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “I can’t be thinking about my love life right now. I can’t be weighing business proposals and second chances and whether or not I should trust you again. There’s too much happening, too much that depends on me being focused and present.”
But even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t entirely true. Because the way Kent was looking at me—guard down, raw and honest, like he’d stripped away every layer of polish and revealed the man underneath—made me want to fall into him and give him that chance he was asking for.
Maybe Christmas was the perfect time to do just that? Maybe this season of miracles and second chances and believing in the impossible was exactly when someone should take a leap of faith?
The thought terrified me. I wasn’t that brave. I wished I was, but I wasn’t.
“I’m conflicted,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need time to think. About everything.”
Kent nodded, though I could see disappointment flicker across his features. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”
We walked back toward the lodge in silence, the weight of unspoken possibilities hanging between us. When we reached the front porch where Brom was still standing guard, Kent cleared his throat.
