“A million dollars,” Chris said without hesitation. “And you can’t ask me what it’s for.”
I scoffed. “Screw that. What’s that money for?”
“Not a hot tub theater combo room in my basement.”
“I doubt that would cost a million dollars.”
Chris folded his hands on the table in front of him. “Good, because it’s not for that.”
“Fine, I’ll pay you all whatever you want.”
“No, we don’t want your money,” Troy said.
Chris shook his head. “Speak for yourself.”
“No, a million dollars for Luke is like ten bucks for a normal person.” Troy leveled his gaze at me. “I have a better idea.”
“What is it?”
“You upset Mom, so now I want you to cheer her up.”
“Okay, Troy, how am I supposed to do that?”
“First, you stay here a couple more days,” he said. “Spend some time with her. And come to Tipsy’s with us tomorrow. Prove you’re not too good for us now.”
“It’ll be a pain, but I can get some people to cover my shifts. Fine, deal.”
“That’s not it,” Troy said. “You also have to come home for Christmas.”
“Sure.”
“And you have to bring a girlfriend with you.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No, if you find a girlfriend and bring her home for Christmas, we’ll lay off the candy-cane fiasco forever. We’ll never mention it again.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s easy enough.”
I stuck out my hand to shake on it, but then Troy continued. “However, if you fail, we’ll never stop bringing up the story and I want your cabin in upstate New York.”
I snorted. “You’re out of your mind.”
“There has to be consequences or there’s no incentive for you to follow through,” Troy said.
“And if I succeed,” I said. “What are the consequences for you?”
“Name it. I’d offer money, but it’s worthless to you.”
I thought about it for a second. “Okay, I’ve got it. When I bring a girlfriend home for Christmas, you have to tell your wife why you got kicked out of Baylor.”
Chris laughed. “Oh shit, that’s vicious.”
“Dude,” Troy said, shocked. “She’ll divorce me.”
I shrugged. “Hey, we’re trading one embarrassing moment for another, right?”
Troy let out a long breath and nodded. “All right, I guess it’s a deal.”
