I was on pins and needles while he tore into the thin paper, gently at first and then shredding it into confetti. “A green sweater?” he said, smiling politely.
“You sound disappointed,” I said, shaking my head. “But you haven’t even looked at it yet.”
Luke unfurled the sweater and his expression fell. “Clara, no.”
“Lucas,yes!”
“It’s so tacky.”
I clapped my hands in excitement. “Isn’t it? It’ll be perfect for the ugly sweater thing we’re doing tonight.”
“You didn’t tell me about that,” he said sternly.
“Surprise!” I said. “Now put it on. I want to take a picture to send to my brother.”
Luke held the sweater up to me like an accusation. “You can’t be serious.”
“Correct. This is afunthing. It’s not meant to be serious at all. Now you’re getting it.” I laughed and pointed at the figures embroidered on the center of the sweater. “I found it at a nearby vintage store. It was the most atrocious thing I could find.”
He frowned at it, eyes narrowed. “It’s two elves riding horses?”
I scoffed. “Those are unicorns, pal. Show a little respect.”
He chuckled. “I can’t help but notice you’ve had our faces printed onto the elves’ faces.”
“I wanted to make it special.” I shrugged. “That was not cheap, by the way. I’m glad I still had your card. Plus, it was a rush job. Totally worth it, though.”
“Return them,” he said. “I can’t be seen in this.”
“Funny story: we can’t return them since they’re personalized,” I said. “But hey, it lights up. Watch.”
I pressed a small button on the inside collar. Christmas lights surrounding the elves and their steeds began to blink. The little LEDs were sewn in expertly, making a flashing border around the elves.
Luke shook his head. “Why would you do this to me?”
I put my hand on his shoulder and patted him reassuringly. “Luke, my sweet boyfriend, I’m not doing this to you. I’m doing this tous.”
I pulled out sweater number two from my other bag. It had an identical design on it, including having our faces added in. With a flick of the switch, mine started blinking too.
“We’re matching,” I said proudly.
“I can’t wear this.”
I stepped close to him and looked up so we were nearly nose to nose. “If I kiss you again, will you say yes?”
The question took him off guard. “Clara, that’s not helping.”
“Then what about this,” I said. “You want the executives to think you’re settled down and stable, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Nothing says settled down like a lame couple’s sweater. You’ll be running your own show in no time.”
Luke stared at me with his mouth open. “That’s a really clever idea.”
“I know. Now I’m going to get pretty for you.” I turned away and called over my shoulder. “I expect you to be wearing that by the time I come back out.”
I freshened up, added another layer of makeup to my face, and got dressed in a long red skirt like Mrs. Claus might wear. Then I put on my sweater.
