“I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll help you get through the rest of this if you come with me to the bonfire. Say yes.”
“Jessie, come on.”
“Those are my terms. Take it or leave it.”
“Luke isn’t the only reason I don’t want to go tonight.” I looked down at the tape in my hands. “Everyone in town will know about the theater shutting down for the winter and me getting laid off, and how I’m now an unemployed, washed-up, wannabe loser with no money and no future.”
Jessie shook me by the shoulders until I felt my neck pop. “Half the people going tonight are unemployed losers. You think Two-Tooth Timmy cares what people think about him? No, he drinks through a straw and has a great time.”
“Where does he get the confidence?” I asked quietly.
“For him, it might be the meth, but my point remains, okay? You’ll have fun tonight. If you just let yourself go and do it.”
I shook my head, my resolve crumbling but not quite gone. “What would I even wear?”
“Oh, my little baby bird, I’ll take care of that. Once I’m done, we’ll have Luke chasing you around the fire.”
Before I knew it, my stuff was all packed up, we dropped it off at my parents’ place, and Jessie had me back at her apartment. She tried to dress me in a skirt so short I would need two hairstyles to wear it out in public. I talked her down to some cute tights and a clingy sweater dress that made me look pretty good.By the time we left, I was feeling as confident as Two-Tooth Timmy.
The fire was already roaring when we pulled into the field that served as a makeshift parking lot. The party was out on Reed Ranch, just outside the city. Plenty of people from town were there, along with folks from the farms and ranches nearby.
Music played from someone’s truck. A couple of kegs had been setup in tubs of ice, and there was some kind of trashcan punch I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Farmers drank like there was no tomorrow. The punch probably had Everclear, paint thinner, and antifreeze in it.
Jessie ran off to get a beer. I found a hard cider in a cooler and grabbed it, figuring it was a safe bet. I wasn’t trying to lose control. I just wanted to relax and not feel afraid about the future for one night. Was that too much to ask?
Alone, I glanced around to see if I knew anyone. I did, of course, but no one I wanted to talk to. A couple of girls who were supposed to be in my canceled show were handing out Jello shots. I went in the opposite direction. Talking to them would just make me start crying again and I was so tired of being sad all the time.
A long swallow of cider lit a fire in my belly. I stared at the actual flames of the bonfire, dancing in the destruction. The tension in my shoulders faded a little. I raised my bottle in a lonely toast, saying, “To bigger and better things!”
A red Solo cup tapped against my bottle, completing the toast I never meant for anyone else to hear. The cup belonged to Luke. “I’ll drink to that,” he said in his deep baritone.
I desperately hoped he couldn’t see how red my cheeks were in the flickering firelight. Or how weak my knees were. I might have run if my legs could move.
Having him stand so close to me, the fire painting him in shifting shadows, it all felt like a fever dream. I reached out andpoked my finger in his broad chest. He felt real enough. I pulled my hand away quickly.
“What are you doing?” he asked, smiling down at me curiously.
“What are you even doing here right now?”
He smiled and looked around. “It’s a party,” he said slowly. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
“No, I mean here in Harrison City. In Texas. You’re some bigtime sports guy, right? So why the hell are you hanging out in Reed’s field with a bunch of nothings, drinking piss beer instead of fancy whiskey?”
“You’re not nothings. Damn.” He locked eyes with me and shook his head. “Are you always so hard on yourself?”
“Nope, we’re not talking about me.”
Luke held his hands up in surrender. “I prefer fancy bourbon to whiskey, but I hear you. The fact is, I wasn’t planning on staying in town after Thanksgiving but my brothers convinced me to stick around for a few extra days. I have to say, I’m glad I did.”
I looked at him. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s been nice slowing down. And catching up with Nic. That dipshit is still my best friend.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Even though you’ve barely spoken to him over the years?”
Luke rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m still his best friend, but he’s still mine. But you’re right. I should call him more.”
“I think he’d like that.” I was so used to seeing Luke on TV now that I wasn’t ready for him to be all sweet and vulnerable with me. It melted my insides and made me want to cuddle into his strong chest.
