What’s the point in practicing good posture when the only person I love is now dead?
Again, by default, I wiggle my mouse and log in to my desktop. It feels like an out-of-body experience as I watch my fingers move robotically over the keys with a mind of their own.
The screen lights up and displays big numbers that no longer feel big.
And that’s because they were never big to begin with—just intangible digits that were never going to save anyone.
“Carter?” Carmen says, jostling me back to the present.
“It doesn’t matter what happened.”
Vex and Skipper share a look.
I find myself watching Carmen.
The boys are right. What the fuck am I doing? This isn’t a game. Carmen might have insanely good looks and bedroom skills, but this is Venom Vultures. I joined this club for a reason, and it was to do damage.
We can’t afford to bring Carmen into this.
Last night was heaven on earth, but it ends here.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“What?”
“Bringing you back here. Again. I just wanted to…I don’t know.” I push off from the bar and close the gap between us. “I should take you back before the fleets wrap up and start heading home for the day.”
Carmen narrows her emerald-green eyes. They sparkle in the light more than I’d like them to. “Why do we keep bumping into each other?” she asks.
“Beats me.”
“What if it’s unfinished business?”
“We don’t have unfinished business.”
In the corner of my eye, I see Skipper raise his eyebrow.
Fucking asshole.
Carmen hops off the barstool and approaches me, extending her gaze to Skipper and Vex. “I didn’t ride out all of this way for an apology, and to have my hair ruined…”
I press my feet into the ground, anchoring myself.
I can’t repeat last night.
I can’t feel that good again.
Indulgence is dangerous. Look what happened the first time I flew too close to the sun—I got burned. The scars are enough to last a lifetime.
If I get burned again, I’ll probably be reuniting with my mother in the afterlife.
And I can’t afford to die yet. The world needs to pay for what it did to my mother.
But death looks sweet when I’m being tempted by a busty woman who knows how to open wide for multiple men.
She took Vex and Skipper so well.
And she took me even better.
