With him and with myself.
I thought this ache in my chest would ease as I came to terms with the lie. It hasn’t.
My emotions are a mess, lurching all over the place from one minute to the next.
I realize I’ve been sitting quietly for too long when I feel Lilly’s eyes on me.
“Have you considered a therapist?” she asks. “I think the emotions you’re experiencing are perfectly understandable, and it might help to talk to someone with greater skills than me.”
Yes…“No. I’m not sure anyone can help with this mess. Not yet anyway.”
She nods in understanding. She has been through experiences herself at the hands of the Uncorrupted.
“Would you like a role within the omega community? To be taken out of the field permanently? Tell me what you need, and I’ll do my very best to make it happen.”
“Thank you. If I knew what I wanted, I would ask. But honestly, I don’t have a clue what I want or need right now besides space and time.”
Lie. You want Zeb. You need Zeb.
“You’ve fallen for him,” she says gently.
It’s not a question, more a statement, and one I can’t deny. I shrug, fighting the onset of tears. “They warn you that intense experiences can ‘confuse’ you.”
She stands, collects a box of tissues from the drawer at her desk, and places them on my lap. Then she sits down next to me and takes my hand.
My next breath is shaky. Then the tears come. I mumble my thanks and take a tissue from the box.
“I didn’t bring you here to upset you, Esme. I’m sorry I said that. Just… please have a think about my offer. You have so much to give back to this world. Fifteen dynamics are now home and safe thanks to you. I never used to believe in fate, but I’ve had some experiences that have changed me. Zetas are an enigma. I have never met one either personally or in my various roles for the viral program. I know very little about them beyondtheir ability to change form, but I firmly believe that such a capability must significantly influence their personality.”
Influence his personality? Ha! Understatement of the year, I think dryly.
A gentle knock sounds on the door. At Lilly’s call, her pink-haired assistant pokes her head around the door.
“I’m really sorry, it’s Governor Brach, and he is very insistent.”
Lilly rolls her eyes. “Men… especially fathers. Please tell him I need five minutes.”
My smile is weak. I set the tissues aside as her assistant leaves.
Lilly is still holding my hand, and her eyes are still on me.
I glance up.
Her face does that softening thing again, but worse, I can feel her deep concern for me on a psychic level despite her doing her best to suppress it. “You might want to avoid the news for the next few days.”
Zeb
It’s fair to say that my life has undergone some significant changes since I dropped a stolen Uncorrupted ship into the Empire’s airspace.
I had to call in a favor from a certain hacker known as The Gecko.Neededthe footage from said ship wiped before the government could get their grubby hands on it. Knowing a computer hacker comes in handy, although the bastard always exacts a price.
That gecko sanctuary is going to be more like a fucking lizard day spa.
Whatever, it was worth it.
I’m back in Chimera, back in my regular form, and back in the prestigious offices of Governor Brach. I’ve met him several times in the days since I returned. Debrief after debrief, followed by decisions, and agreements. Change is coming, not only for me, but for the very structure of our society.
Except today’s meeting is not going to plan.
