But seeing her standing in the middle of my bathroom wearing lace that hid nothing from me, looking so damn sleep-rumpled and adorable.
I couldn’t help myself.
I needed to know what she tasted like. And then when she gave so easily, without hesitation, I lost control just as much as she did.
Her hands press to my chest and push lightly.
No part of me wants this moment to end, because she’s going to have questions I’m not sure how to answer.
I step back despite the voice in the back of my head that begs me not to, and Lexi slips off the edge of the counter without a word.
Anxiety clings in my chest, a familiar thought that I’ll never be good enough for a woman like her making my stomach churn uncomfortably.
“Wildcat?” My voice comes out more uncertain than I would like, but the idea of losing her when she’s finally mine is something I can’t live with.
“I think I just need a minute,” she replies, her voice flat and devoid of her usual sass.
“Don’t run,” I plead.
“Like you’d let me.”
I chuckle, but the sound lacks humor. “You’re right about that.” I move before I can think better of it, wrapping my arms around her and tugging her body back against mine. “You’re mine, Wildcat. My perfect match. Don’t think just because you’ve pushed everyone else away that I’m going to let you get away with the same shit.”
I hold her for another beat, reveling in how right she feels, how perfectly she seems to fit, before releasing her and leaving the room.
I close the door behind me, even as my chest tightens at the distance it adds, and drop to the edge of the bed. My elbows fall to my knees and my head into my hands.
How am I supposed to tell her that not only have I known about her Fan Faves account since the day she created it, but also that I’ve been her most loyal subscriber since that day?
I can’t sit here and wallow while I wait for her. I need to keep busy.
I shuck my ruined underwear and tug sweatpants up my legs, not bothering with boxers. It will be a few hours before I have to leave to collect Lexi’s gift, a courting present if you will, so there’s no reason to get dressed.
Once I’ve collected my phone and the burner we keep in case of an emergency, I move into the kitchen.
Breakfast.
I can’t believe I didn’t think to feed Lexi before she fell asleep, but she was too beat to eat even if I had thought of it.
She must be starving.
I move around the kitchen with ease, whisking eggs and preparing the bacon to go into the pan once it’s heated. Cooking is methodical. It makes sense even when the rest of the world doesn’t, and that’s why I started learning the second I got out from under my father’s thumb.
It’s the thing that allows me to switch off, to enjoy the process and the result, even while the world burns around me.
It’s not something I’ve ever shared with anyone, but there’s a part of me that’s thrilled I can care for Lexi like this.
I can provide for her in a way that isn’t just safety.
I get lost in the familiar steps. Making the perfect scrambled eggs, frying the bacon until it has the perfect crunch, and toasting the bread to just the right shade of brown.
Which is how I miss Lexi until she’s perched on a stool at the counter.
Her body is swamped in a sweat suit that appears to be multiple sizes too big for her, and I can’t help but smirk at that. It’s her armor. A way to protect herself while she gets the answers she wants so badly.
“How long have you known about my Fan Faves account?”
“Since you made it,” I reply, keeping myself busy with making a fruit salad, sans watermelon because Lexi can’t stand the stuff.
