What I want is simple.
I want her.
Bent, trembling, soaked in sweat and tears and obedience she doesn’t understand yet. I want her sharp mouth broken open and her pink lips around the things she swore she’d never take. I want to hold her down and whisper that no one’s coming — not because she’s weak, but because I’m the only one who should.
And I want her to thank me for it.
I want her to say it through gritted teeth and soaked sheets and clawed-up skin, when the fight finally gives way to truth and she realises she was never running from this — she was circling it.
Because monsters don’t need permission.
But gods demand worship.
And she’s already started praying.
Even if she doesn’t know it yet.
She doesn’t scream.
She doesn’t rip the vent off the wall or throw something or run into the hallway half-dressed, begging for help.
She just stares.
And that’s when I know she’s mine.
Because silence is the first symptom of surrender.
Not the screaming. Not the crying. Not the rage.
It’s the moment they stop reacting — because they’re not trying to escape anymore.
They’re trying to understand.
Understand me.
Understand why it feels better to freeze than fight.
Understand how control can feel like comfort when the devil makes it sound like love.
She paces now. Small steps. Too fast. Not going anywhere.
Like she’s trying to outrun the realisation that it’s already inside her — that I’m already inside her, sitting behind her eyes and crawling down her throat like smoke she can’t cough up.
I exhale slowly.
Watch her every movement.
Watch her fold and unfold her arms, touch her neck, drag her hands through her hair, breathe like she’s trying not to choke on something she swallowed willingly.
I know what she’s thinking.
She’s remembering every time she was naked in this space. Every moment she peeled her clothes off and thought she was alone. Every sigh. Every tear. Every ache. Every twitch. Every whisper of my name into the silence — even if she didn’t know it yet.
She’ll start to feel hollow soon.
That’s what exposure does to people.
It doesn’t just strip them.
