The kind of tremble that means the foundation just cracked.
And I don’t know if that means I’m free—or if I’ve finally fallen so far into him there’s no way back.
I crawl towards the edge of the mattress, dragging the broken chain behind me like a leash I chose. My bare knees burn against the rug, bruised from battles I didn’t win. I press my palm flat to the floorboards, trying to ground myself, but all I feel is the thrum beneath the wood—like the walls themselves are listening. Waiting.
I should scream.
I should destroy something.
I should become the monster he thinks I am.
But I can’t seem to move. Not fully.
The mirror watches me. The cracked line bisects my reflection—two halves of a girl I no longer recognise. One side is the version I pretended to be, back when sunlight touched my skin. The other is what he’s made me. What I’ve let him sculpt with words, hands, hunger.
I can’t decide which half is more terrifying.
The necklace dangles from my fingers, the charm swaying gently like a pendulum measuring time I don’t have. I lift it again. I don’t wear it. I just hold it close—tight enough to bruise. My thumb strokes the bent metal, over and over, like I can polish the damage out of it. Like I can unbend the part of me that broke when I begged.
A sound escapes my throat. It’s not a sob. It’s not even a gasp.
It’s laughter.
Hollow, cracked, splintered laughter that sounds like it belongs in a padded room.
Because he’s winning.
Not with chains. Not with threats.
But with absence.
And that’s what breaks me most of all.
I was prepared for the monster who would punish me, break me, fuck the fight out of me.
I wasn’t ready for silence.
I wasn’t ready for him to leave.
And now the space he’s not in burns hotter than when he was inside me.
I hate him.
I miss him.
I want him to rot.
I want him to come back.
God, I want him to come back.
I sink to the floor again, curling around the weight of it all like it might protect me.
But the truth is, I don’t need protection anymore.
What I need… is a plan.
Because if he won’t break me today, I’ll make sure he bleeds tomorrow.
