I’d tried to walk her home, peck her goodbye, and sleep at her old apartment, but somehow, I ended up on that couch more than in the place I rented. Tonight was no exception—she wrapped her hands around the lapels of my jacket and pulled me into the elevator. Her smiling lips pressed against mine, and her happiness shook off some of the guilt I still carried. I grunted when my back hit the wall, her tongue sweeping inside my mouth. I loved that she was never tentative. Never just the tip. A bold duel of tongues. Every time.
“All that rent money could go into the business, Linc,” she whispered against my lips. “Move back in. This is silly.”
I shook my head. “Babe…” I hated rejecting her. “This is still new, and I—” She bit my lower lip, and my belt buckle pressed into her stomach. I hazily wondered if she knew the buckle wasn’t the only hard thing pressing against her. “I told you I’d give you choices. Moving back in isn’t giving you choices.”
She let out an annoyed huff just as the elevator dinged on our floor.
Fuck.Now she was mad at me.
She tugged me down the hallway, her grip insistent, until we reached the living room. With a dramatic sigh, she dropped onto the couch, legs curling under her. I followed, perching on the arm beside her. The warmth from her body still clung to mine, reminding me that even if she changed her mind now, never to touch me again, I’d at least know the taste of her lips.
Her eyes were on me: curious, guarded, still flickering with that little spark of frustration. “You’re holding out on me.”
I leaned back against the cushions, trying to act casual, but my chest was tight with anticipation. “I’m not.”
“You are, and I get it. This is still confusing as fuck for me.”
My heart dropped. I didn’t want her confused, I wanted herobsessedthe way I’d been with her for years. I took off my jacket, letting my fingers brush over the edge of her hand. She lifted her gaze to me at the touch.
“I never actually told you why I got this.” I gestured vaguely toward my side, the outline of the tattoo visible through the pale-pink fabric of my shirt. She tilted her head, brow raised, and I swear she smirked just a little, daring me to spill. She thought it’d be cute. It wouldn’t. I loved having a piece of something important to her on my skin, but my fixation with her hadn’t been born out of tender love.
I took a deep breath, inhaling energy. “You’d told Vin that you weren’t going to his parents’ for winter break, freshman year of college,” I said. “I mean, hindsight and all, why the fuck would you?” I shifted on the couch, running a hand through my hair, avoiding her gaze.
I swallowed hard, heat rising to my neck. “I’d considered going home with Vin just to see you…. Well, just to fuck with you.” My fingers clenched in my lap, the shame gnawing.
She didn’t flinch, just waited for me to continue.
“But… then, it turned out Vin didn’t want to be there.” I let out a shaky breath. “Nina, I’m pissed as hell at him, but I think—I think he wanted to see you.” I pressed my hand against my sternum, willing myself to stay on track. “Anyway, he came to visit me. Took him two hours to start blurting out how proud he was of you. He showed me pictures of you at your school. You were so fucking happy. Happier than I’d ever seen you.” My chest felt tight, pulse spiking, each word clawing its way out.
Her hand twitched against the throw pillow, a subtle, conflicted tremor. Her brows knitted.
“I understand nowIwanted to be the one to make you happy, not some random school, some random guy with his arm overyour shoulder.” My jaw clenched. “But I’d never been that for you, and it pissed me the fuck off, Nina. It brought back the moment when I thought you’d told me you didn’t want me… all over again.”
Nina’s lips parted, breath catching. She shifted closer, but not enough to bridge the distance, her hand hovering uncertainly.
I swallowed. My thumb rubbed against my knee, heart hammering. “So I got this bird… because it’d remind me to take that away from you. And damn if I didn’t follow up on that when I saw you: new fucking beautiful hire at 3D’s, marketing firm from hell.”
I let every ounce of guilt pour through in my tone. “This wasn’t done out of love.” My palm landed over the ink. “But out of resentment.”
Her chest rose and fell faster, gaze darting from my eyes to my hand tracing a line where the ink sat under my shirt. And in that tense silence born out of my obsession and shame, she still held herself together.
“And how do you feel about it now, Lincoln?” she said softly, covering my hand with hers and pressing it against my side.
The contact made me draw in a sharp inhale, my ribs expanding against her palm. My body desperate to keep her there. “Now that I love what it means, I realize I was such an idiot,” I said. “A kid who didn’t know what to do with wanting something that bad.”
Her thumb traced a slow circle over my shirt, seeking the wings of my songbird, and my breath hitched. The gentleness almost undid me more than her anger had earlier.
“What does it mean?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“It’s not about controlling you but aboutdeservingyou. About howyouchanged me then and change me now.”
My throat locked, but I didn’t stop. Her hand stayed right where it was, warm and grounding. “Now it means you’re the choice I’d make a thousand times, andI’dgo through every sorrow again to be your choice. To be here. With you.”
Her eyes shimmered, and I couldn’t tell if she was going to cry or kiss me, so I kept talking before she could pull away.
“It’s not about taking anything from you anymore, Nina. It’s about carrying you with me. Everywhere. Always.”
She held my gaze for a long, heavy beat, then let go of my hand and slid her fingers under the hem of my shirt. The pad of her thumb brushed bare skin, warm and unhurried.
