I almost dropped the bowl.Us. As if that was ever real.Heat rose in my cheeks, and I forced my gaze to stay on the chipped rim of the bowl.
“I—” My throat closed. I didn’t want to lie to him, but the doctor’s words echoed in my mind. “Lincoln, you have that specialist appointment. Let’s talk it out if they think that’s okay.”
He hummed, unconvinced. His brow furrowed as though he was trying to fit me into a frame that didn’t exist. The silence stretched, pressing down on my lungs.
I pointed at the barstools for him to take a seat and offered his coffee mug to him. He struggled to hide the shock when the cold liquid touched his mouth.
“Babe,” he murmured, as if I was a cat about to run out the door at the first chance. “This coffee is cold.”
I nodded. “Exactly. That’s how you like it.”
His brow arched. “I drink iced coffee?”
“No, you like room temperature coffee. Not iced, not hot. Lukewarm, you could say.”
“So, I want my water hot and my coffee cold.” His eyes squinted, little creases forming at the edges.
I rolled my lips to keep the laughter in. “What can I say?” I added. “You know what you like!”
I moved away from him to finish eating, biting back a laugh. He stood and flailed, so I wrapped my arms around his waist just as his body sagged.
He straightened, and his touch lingered on my arm. “Sorry, I felt a little woozy there.” Lincoln’s smile was small and uneven.
“It’s okay,” I said after a second. “That’s why I’m here.”
His eyes softened. “Thank you,” he murmured. His voice wasn’t sharp this time, an edge of vulnerability. It was… human. “For being here. Even if it’s not what you want. I’m—” He exhaled. “I’m so confused all the time. I don’t know how I’d do this, not just alone, but without you.”
Something tugged low in my chest. Lincoln tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Knuckles grazed my cheek, but I had to force myself to keep my body relaxed. His voice assaulted my memories, sharp and arrogant, twisting darkly around his smirk: “That’s a lovely new outfit, Reyes. Splurged on that one, didn’t you?”Back then, I was the one pushing messy strands behind my ears, making sure he knew no matter what he did, I wouldn’t cower. I shut my eyes, willing the dimly lit hallways of our old high school to fade away.
“It happened again,” Lincoln said. “You went somewhere and closed yourself off even more. Please, tell me. Trying to put the pieces together makes my head throb.”
He was still holding on to me, a tremor in his voice, cheeks flushed. Stress would aggravate injuries, trigger symptoms. I knew better than anybody. No matter the history between us, I wouldn’t make his health worse. I nodded, placing my hand just above his elbow, hair tickling my fingertips.
“We have a complicated history, I won’t hide that from you.”
“I know you’re worried, but I can take whatever you need to tell me. It’s just… nothing’s really coming to me either.”
I led him to the couch, keeping an arm around his waist. “The doctor said it could take some time. We’ll get more information tomorrow from the specialist.”
His face creased into a smirk, lighting up the room.We.I grimaced. His dimples deepened without their usual arrogance. Because my slip of the tongue had turned into a declaration. Resting some of his weight on me, I helped him sit. He dropped his head on the back of the couch, eyes closed, the curve of his lips lingering.
“You should sleep. Just let me bring your meds.”
“Let’s sit here for a minute. I just need to close my eyes.” His hand dropped to my knee. “Why don’t you put on some TV?”
I arched an eyebrow. His skin had turned a little pale. I’d have to take him to Reality Bites tomorrow. Lynnie had moved my shifts around, even offered to give me time off, but I couldn’t afford two days off in my underpaid job, or use up a favor from my boss this early on. I felt a twinge of guilt that didn’t belong there. I didn’t even want to do this.
“You’re not supposed to watch TV,” I countered, trying to keep my breathing under control.
But numbers and bills swirled in my brain. Two weeks until I was out of my daily medication. I could put all my would-be rent money toward temporary insurance and have the peace of mind of being covered, should I need an emergency hospital trip. My asthma made that more than likely.
“You can work on your laptop and watch whatever,” he muttered, his jaw muscles strained. “Relax. I’ll just listen.”
They’d told me what to expect—light sensitivity, brain fog, all the other stuff that had been listed in the discharge papers. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. It was a head injury, not just some bruise, but still, my stomach twisted.
“Look at Nina, she bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.”Lincoln’s taunting voice assaulted me. Maybe every stumble hadbeen a trick. I bit the inside of my cheek.Don’t, Nina.Next to me, he looked… peaceful. Unguarded. Helpless. I bit my tongue to keep from asking if he was okay. Instead, I stood up, cut one of his pain pills in half, then grabbed the remote and sat back next to him. I placed the medication on his lips, then helped him tilt his head.
His eyes remained closed. “You brought me cold water,” he said, the whisper of a smile showing on his lips, and he placed his hand on my thigh. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, sweetheart. Whatever you need, though.” Then he squeezed right above my knee. The pressure almost too gentle. “You do you, I’ll do me.”
