Last night, she’d carried everything in herself. Not that she had much. She’d even slapped my hand away when I tried helping, muttering I was a “concussed amnesiac” under her breath. By the time we made it upstairs, my heartbeat drummed behind my temples, making it difficult to stand. She’d dimmed all the lights and supported my weight with a rigid posture, her warmth seeping through my thin shirt as she guided me down the hall.
It was…bizarre.She should have been able to go straight into my room, yet, somehow,Iknew where to go and she didn’t. In my room, she eased me onto the mattress, pulling the blanket over me. I tugged her wrist weakly before she could step back and her hip bumped into mine. She shut her eyes at the touch, as if it burned.
“You should make sure I don’t stop breathing in my sleep.”
“Lincoln,” she’d said, prying my arms from around her. “I should get your pills so you can sleep.”
Reluctantly, I let her go. She returned with the medication and a glass of water, then sat on my bed and helped me up. Her thigh pressed against me, her heat seeping into my body as she watched me place the glass to my lips and sip. I almost spat everything out.The water was fucking hot.Coughing, I pushed it down my throat.
“You should take another sip,” she’d said, a devious smirk dancing on her face.
“This water is hot, babe.”
Her smile spread even brighter. “But,babe, you love warm water. I keep telling you it’s weird. And you say you like it hotter than hot.”
The medication kicked in, the thundering inside my head lessening, and her smile blurred. I couldn’t tell if she wasteasing, her brown eyes alive with a glimmer I couldn’t quite read. I searched for any clues on her face, but I couldn’t decide. Maybe I truly was an idiot who drank his water hotter than hot.
“Lay with me.” My eyelids drooped, heavy and burning.
She stiffened, shaking her head. “I’d be uncomfortable.” When I arched my brow, she added. “Since you can’t remember.”
“What ifI’muncomfortable my girl won’t sleep next to me?” I tried to smile, but the medication had worked too quickly, sleep tugging at me.
I glanced at her one more time, fighting to stay awake, her brows pinched. She hesitantly opened her mouth, her gaze sharp, the response dancing on tip of her tongue as it darted behind her front teeth. Then the gleam in her eyes softened, her tongue retreated, shifting gears mid-sentence. “Sleep,” she whispered. “I’ll keep an eye on you. From the armchair.”
Before she could stand, I placed my hand on her thigh, and rather than relaxing, she sat there ramrod, her breath shallow and sharp, and sleep pulled me under ’til I woke to the empty bed.
It was cute, her keeping me at bay, drawing these lines. She knew me, though, and shouldn’t be surprised I wasn’t going to go for it. I drew my own lines.
I headed toward the bathroom. Black and white from floor to ceiling surrounded me—matter and efficient in a corporate sort of way.Boring.
Without thinking much about it, I shaved, but all the products in the cabinets were men’s. No makeup, lotion, or even a toothbrush sitting next to mine. Nothing you’d expect to find in the bathroom of a guy with a long-term girlfriend.
A light throbbing pulsed behind my temple as I tried conjuring memories of Nina. No swaying this time. Progress. Something was off. She’d flinched, she’d braced for what I’dsay, avoided my touch. Whatever our normal was, it left this beautiful woman, who closed blinds and held my hand, in constant knots around me.
Dressed in dark-washed jeans and a pale-blue polo, I found Nina moving about in the kitchen, opening and closing different drawers until she found a serving spoon. She slid it under a heap of steaming scrambled eggs, tilting it just enough for the folds to tumble onto a plate. Her hair was tied high on her head, stray waves, black as midnight, resting against the curve of her neck. I knew the second she spotted me because her hand paused midair, shoulders tensing. Once she resumed, I watched her graceful movements until she brought me a plate.
She perched on one of the stools and typed away on a MacBook that had seen better days, the casing scratched, half the keys faded. Her suitcase and duffel bag were tucked out of the way, by the wall, near the door. Everything packed away. Ready for a quick escape; she wasn’t planning on staying.
I rolled my head, neck and shoulders cracking. She froze, drawing my focus from her luggage. Her shoulders curved forward, closing around as if to shield herself. With a big puff of air, she pointed at my plate. Scrambled eggs and avocado toast my way. Her plate only had eggs.
“You need to eat something for your medication. How’s your pain level?” She assessed me. “Any dizziness?”
I leaned my head on my wrists, it felt heavier than it should. “Pulsing, more than pain,” I said. “A little bit of dizziness. Sometimes, things get blurry.”
Nina moved her computer to the side, then cupped my face, angling my head this way and the other.
“Does it get worse? The fuzziness?”
Her hands were soft, the palms slightly more wrinkled than you’d think. There was this… unfamiliarity to it. When putting on my clothes and lying on my bed, a sense of habit settled overme. Her hands on me, though…. No spark of recognition in my brain. My hands shot out, and I cupped her cheeks, mirroring her touch. The sensation was new… and so tender. Her hair brushed my knuckles, and her pulse drummed against my thumb. She was in knots again. Anxiety overpowering softness.
I let go of her, shaking my head. “No, it goes away quickly.”
Her hands fell away from me, and she nodded, but her gaze stayed trained on my every move. “Eat,” she said.
I bit into the toast; the smooth avocado complemented the crunch of the bread. It was delicious, until the spice hit. I coughed, heat searing my tongue before shooting up my nose. Tears prickled in my eyes, and a bead of sweat formed at my hairline. Nina’s palm tapped my back, even as her eyes gleamed like the night before. I snatched the cup of water in front of me. Fuckinghotter than hotwater again.
“I’m sorry,babe,” she said, stressing the nickname as if it wasn’t an endearment at all. “You usually love lots of paprika on your toast. I hope I didn’t overdo it?”
