I wanted to argue. Wanted to rail against the cosmic unfairness of having your heart decided for you by forces beyond your control. The idea was disturbing, being stripped of agency in the most fundamental way possible.
But then I thought of Navaire.
My soul had felt like part of his, hadn’t it? Losing him had felt like someone had carved out half of my existence and left me bleeding in the dark. Maybe that’s all it was. Maybe humans just didn’t have a word for it.
A particularly loud shriek drew my attention back to the training ground, where Fionn had apparently decided that riding dragons was for amateurs and had moved on to trying to teach them fetch. The results were... explosive.
I decided to steer the conversation to easier topics. “How many other courts are there?” I knew the answer already, but it was an easy distraction.
Darian’s shoulders loosened. “Including Nyxaria? Eight.”
“That’s not a lot.”
He gave me a curious look. “It isn’t?”
“In the human realm, we have the king, and he rules over about twenty different territories. And that’s just one kingdom. There are countless others.”
Brynelle perked up as she turned toward me with genuine interest. “Twenty? That sounds exhausting. All those different customs and laws to keep track of.”
Darian shrugged. “Aethermire is small. There are lands beyond it, but we don’t trade with them, and we don’t travel beyond our borders. The fae are largely self-contained. Whatever we need, we have here. We don’t… expand.”
“And travel between realms?” I prompted.
“Exceptionally rare.”
“Good thing too,” Brynelle said with a grin, settling cross-legged on the grass beside us. “Can you imagine the paperwork? ‘Dear Court of Whatever, please accept this formal request to not murder our diplomatic envoy.’”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Is that really how fae diplomacy works?”
“Only on the good days,” Darian said dryly.
Brynelle giggled, a bright sound that made something in my chest ease. “On the bad days, we just send Cindrissian to stare at people until they agree with us.”
“That... probably works disturbingly well,” I admitted.
“Oh, it absolutely does,” she said, eyes sparkling with mischief. “I once saw him make a merchant cry just by asking about fabric prices.”
The laughter felt foreign in my throat, rusty from disuse, like a skill I’d forgotten I possessed. But watching Mireth directed her aerial squadron with the intensity of a seasoned general, I couldn’t help but let it spill out of me. Eryx finally managed to climb onto a particularly patient silver hatchling’s back. The little dragon turned to look at him with what I could only describe as resigned acceptance.
“They’re fearless,” I murmured, and wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse.
“They’re children,” Brynelle said simply. “Fear is something they learn. Usually from watching their parents.”
The words hit deeper than they should have. Because she wasn’t wrong. How much of my children’s early terror had been learned from watching me flinch at every shadow, every sound, every stranger’s face?
“I should walk the grounds,” I said suddenly, the need to move, to think, to process settling in my bones. “I’ve been meaning to explore more of the castle.”
Darian waved a dismissive hand. “Go. I’ll keep an eye on them. Someone should probably make sure they don’t accidentally declare war on the kitchen staff.”
“You sure?”
“Isara.” He fixed me with a look that was equal parts amused and exasperated. “I’ve survived raising Fionn this long. I think I can handle two more for an hour.”
Brynelle pushed herself to her feet, brushing grass from her leather pants. “Mind if I join you? I could use the walk, and there are parts of the grounds you haven’t seen yet.”
I nodded, grateful for the company. As we moved away from the training field, the sounds of delighted chaos faded behind us, replaced by the gentler sounds of wind through leaves and distant water.
“You know,” Brynelle said as we wandered down a cobblestone path that wound between ancient oaks, “I’ve been watching you with them... it’s beautiful. The way they look at you.”
