“You must awaken,”she had said.
How? To what? What if there was nothing inside me to wake?
Outside, guards made deliberately heavy footsteps. Were they watching for external threats or monitoring us? Waiting for the simmering disquiet to boil over into something violent or deadly?
Tomorrow, our master promised training of the mind; but how do you traintrustback into hearts that have learned to doubt?
In only a matter of days, we’d gone from a temple of warriors to a collection of suspicious strangers, each wondering who would strike first. And somewhere along a dangerous road, a prince approached—either our salvation or our doom. I couldn’t know.
But the whispered doubts of fearful boys had already burrowed into my consciousness, causing my chest to ache: He would never make it to us alive.
Chapter 33
Yoshi
Master Giichi stood in the center of the meditation hall, his ancient presence filling the space in a way our regular instructor never could. We’d meditated countless times over the past year—breathing exercises, emptying the mind, finding our center. These were all standard temple practices.
But the abbot himself had never led a session. His appearance alone made this different, somehow momentous in ways none of us could fathom.
“Sit,” he commanded.
We arranged ourselves in a circle on the worntatami. Daichi’s jaw was tight with barely concealed irritation—he’d been pulled from weapons practice and clearly wasn’t happy. Kenta shifted restlessly. Teshi looked nervous, as always, while Hiroshi maintained his perfect posture with practiced ease.
“You know the forms of meditation,” Giichi said softly. “Breath and emptiness. Stillness and void. Today, we go beyond. Today, we seek not emptiness but fullness. Not void but pattern.”
I straightened. Thiswasnew.
“Close your eyes.”
We obeyed.
“Breathe as you have been taught. Center yourselves.”
The familiar rhythm came easily after so many months of practice.
In through the nose.
Hold.
Out through the mouth.
My squirming, wriggling monkey mind settled, finally stilling.
“Now.” Giichi’s voice shifted, taking on a quality I’d never heard before. “Look not inward butthrough, not at thought but at the space between thoughts. Find the threads that connect all things.”
Space between thoughts? What was that supposed to mean?
I tried. Nothing happened. Tried again. Still only silence.
This was pointless. There was nothing in the space between thoughts. That’s why it was called “space.” It was empty—just like my mind during this exercise.
“Do not think, Yoshi-san. See,” Master Giichi whispered, his words so close I could feel them brush my ear.
Unsure what else to do, I reached into the depths, into the darkest recess of my mind, and watched. I had no idea what I was watching for, but the master had said—
Something stirred.
I felt a tingling at the base of my skull, like ice water trickling down my spine.
