“We’re not here to talk about starting a boy band, although I also veto the idea,” Blaine interjects, twisting his body to face me. “Coach pulled Peyton aside earlier and said you had received some news…” His voice trails off, and I lift my head up from the tin to look at him. His eyes are full of sadness, and part of me fractures over the fact that I never told him.
Is he going to be mad with me?
“We wanted to let you know that we’re here for you, for whatever you need,” Jackson says. “I know how overwhelming it can be to begin with. Suddenly, your life as you know it has thisnew color to it. It’s the same, but different, and it feels easier to push people away than to let them in.”
“How long have you been feeling like this?” Zach asks.
“I guess I’ve always felt like I haven’t really fit in, but I didn’t know why. Hunter brought it up one day because he thought I already knew, and it got me thinking.” I shrug. “And I guess I know now why I’ve felt the way that I do, and because I’ve been trying to fit into a world that isn’t built for people like me.”
Blaine’s mouth twists like he’s trying to hide his feelings. I poke his thigh and offer him a reassuring smile.
He smiles back, but his lips quiver, and he shakes his head, turning away to look out the window.
I look down at Boomer. His eyes are closed, and I gently run my fingers through the soft fur on his head.
“I think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say this: I’m really fucking sorry we didn’t realize, and if any of our actions have ever made you feel like you needed to be anyone except yourself around us,” Ethan says with a look of regret in his eyes.
The back of my eyes burns as I look over to my friend and old captain. Pressing my lips together, I take a deep breath and shake my head. “You guys have always made me feel safe to be me.”
“I’m really pleased about that,” Peyton adds, giving my shin a squeeze.
Blaine wraps his arms around my head, kissing the top of my scalp, and murmurs, “I love you, El.”
“I love you too, doofus,” I mumble, unable to hug him back because my arms are trapped around the bread container.
He pinches my ear and settles into the couch next to me before stealing a chunk of bread.
They stay for the next few hours. We order pizza and simply sit in a companionable silence while we watch TV.
And I couldn’t be more thankful to have the greatest friends in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hunter
Elliot wraps his arms around my thigh and holds on so tightly that when I go to move, he gets dragged out of bed slightly.
“I don’t want you to go,” he pleads, his voice still thick from sleep and eyes shut.
“I have to go to work now, baby,” I say around a quiet laugh, running my fingers through his sleep-tousled hair.
He had a game last night against Vegas and didn’t get home until close to midnight. Then he was so wired from getting a shutout, he didn’t fall asleep until at least 3:00 a.m., so it didn’t come as a surprise when he slept through my alarm, the shower, and me getting dressed, only waking up when I went to kiss him goodbye.
“Boomer’s here to see you,” I tell him, waving the dog over, who’s standing in the doorway.
Boomer’s warmed up to me a lot in the last few days since Elliot brought him home. I doubt he remembers me from the day of the fire, but I like to think he knew it was me and hasrealized I’m a safe person. Plus, Elliot had a game in Columbus the other night, so it was just the two of us, and Boomer jumped on the couch and curled up next to me. I immediately took a photo and sent it to Elliot.
OMG he loves you!! he had texted back.
We’ve been buds ever since.
“What have you got planned for today? Do you have to go anywhere?” I ask, still running my fingers through his hair in hopes he’ll loosen his grip on my leg, because damn, he’s strong even when he’s tired.
“Nope,” he mumbles. “Off day.”
“Well, why don’t I text you later, and you can come to the firehouse for lunch? You could bring Boomer, and we’ll sit him in the cab.”
Elliot’s head whips up, his sleepy eyes widening a fraction. “Really?”
