As promised, Hunter stayed on the phone until I fell asleep. Something I’m thankful for because I think my brain would have kept me awake otherwise. It didn’t stop me from waking up feeling both mentally and emotionally exhausted, but there’s also a part of me that feels validated because I feel seen by Hunter. It’s like he picks things up without me having to say a word. He can read me like a book, my thoughts and emotions clear on the page.
I can’t ignore the fact I’m smitten with Hunter. It’s like my feelings for him quadruple every single time we speak.
How could I not be smitten with someone who pays attention to the smallest of details?Who knows me so well in such a short period of time.
The only thing worrying me now is sex, because I’m no good at it. I’ve tried looking online. I’ve spent hours reading through hundreds of threads, but there’s so much advice out there. Someof it is contradictory to one another too, so how am I supposed to know what I should be doing? It’s overwhelming.
I guess I could ask someone, like Zach or Jackson. I don’t want to ask Blaine because that would be kinda weird.
Before I can change my mind, I get up off the bed and walk up to the conjoining door between my room and Zach’s and knock. Footsteps sound on the other side of the door, and then the lock clicks. He looks sleepy when he opens the door, a pillow crease down one side of his face.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks.
“Did I wake you up?”
“Kinda, but it’s okay. I needed to get up now anyway.”
I shove my hands in my pockets and rock back on my heels. “So, I was… um… hoping I could get your advice about something.”
His eyebrows lift slightly in surprise, then without a word, he steps aside so I can come in. He goes to sit on the desk chair, and I throw myself onto the bed, shifting around until my head hangs over the edge and I’m staring at the plain white wall.
“What are you doing?” he chuckles.
“I can’t look at you while I ask what I’m about to ask.”
“Okay…” he says in amusement. “What’s up? Is something bothering you?”
“How do you have sex?” I blurt out.
I guess we’re going right into the deep end.
He makes a choked sound. “Like in general or…”
“I mean, like… I’ve tried to look it up online, and it sounds confusing. So I jerked off with Hunter the other night, and now I’m like, if he wants to have sex, I don’t know how to have the sex. And I don’t want to ask Blaine because ew, gross.”
He snorts. “So you thought you’d come to me?”
“Well, you are my bestie.” I leave off theduh.
He’s silent for a moment, and I start to feel my head getting hot and heavy from all the blood rushing to it.
“If you’re not ready to have sex with him, you know you don’t have to.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s the fact I don’t knowhow. I’ve had sex twice, right? And both times, it was like…” I wave my hands around in the air, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt uncomfortable, and I wasn’t enjoying it, then I got all embarrassed because I didn’t… you know…” I motion to my crotch.
He sighs. “I’m sorry you had a shit experience. I don’t know him, but from what you’ve said, Hunter seems like a nice guy who will take care and take his time with you.”
I tip my head up to look at him. “He called me a good boy.”
Zach’s icy blue eyes widen.
“And I really liked it,” I add before flopping back to hang over the edge.
“Well… okay, there’s nothing wrong with having a praise kink. I think that’s quite common. What else are you worried about?”
“Will it hurt?”
“Not if you’re prepped right,” he says, then quickly adds, “I’m assuming he’s the top in this hypothetical scenario?”
