“Love you, El,” he whispers. “I’m sorry we let you down tonight.”
The back of my eyes burns with unshed tears. I know it’s dumb to be upset. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t care so much. That I could let it go. Put it down as a bad night, and move onto the next. Instead, I’ll be thinking about this constantly for the next few weeks. Losing sleep over it and thinking about how I could have done things differently.
“Love you too,” I murmur.
“Want me to send up some food that I think you’ll like?”
“Yes, please.”
He gives me another squeeze, then waits in the lobby until I’m inside the elevator.
Once I’m in my room, I kick off my shoes and strip out of my suit, making sure to hang it in the closet instead of leaving it on the chair, seeing as I’ll need to wear it again in Calgary. Turning on the TV, I slip under the duvet and scroll through the channels until I find the shopping channel. It’s mindless and not interesting enough for me to pay attention, but it provides enough background noise that I don’t feel alone.
Blaine sends up some food like he promised. A chicken parm sub with a side of fries I manage to eat without spilling it on the bed or myself.
I’m hiding my face in the duvet cover when my phone vibrates next to me, and something shimmies in my chest at the sight of Hunter’s name lighting up the screen.
Hunter
That was a tough game. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped. I’m still proud of you.
My lips twist in a sad smile. I’m glad I made at least one person proud tonight.
Can I call you?
Hunter
Of course. Let me head into my office.
A few minutes later, my phone flashes with an incoming video call. I quickly swipe to answer. His handsome face appears on my screen, and tears prick at my eyes instantly because I don’t want him to see me like this.
Fuck, why am I like this? Why do I have to be so sensitive? All of the other goalies I’ve played with have never been this lame.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
“Hey, you.” His voice is like a soothing caress over my skin. His brows pinch in a frown, then my name leaves his lips on a sad sigh. “Elliot. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Tonight wasn’t your fault.”
I huff out a breath. “How’d you know I was being hard on myself?”
“’Cause I see you, El. I see that big heart of yours and know how deeply you care. It’s normal to feel these big emotions. They’re just amplified by being neurodivergent.”
The room becomes silent at his words. I stare at him through the screen. The concerned gaze on his handsome face.
I’ve heard the word before.Neurodivergent. There was a kid in my class in second grade who was always getting into trouble.“He’s not misbehaving, he’s neurodivergent,”I remember hearing his parents say in the playground one day.
Is that me?
“W-what do you mean? Being neurodivergent?” I ask, idly rubbing over the hollow feeling spreading in my chest.
“With having ADHD, for example. Your brain is wired differently to someone who’s neurotypical, and in turn, your emotions are heightened. It’s normal to feel it more.”
I sit up slightly, feeling the cloud of confusion getting bigger. “You think I have ADHD?”
His lips part slightly, and his dark brows crease further over his nose. There’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his voice has the slightest tremble to it. It wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else, but I’m so in tune with every single detail about Hunter I pick up on the slightest change.
“You… haven’t been diagnosed?” he asks cautiously.
I shake my head. “No.”
