“Finally!” Peyton shouts, and everyone’s attention lands on the door as Ethan and Jacob walk in. “We were starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”
“We’re not that late,” Ethan grumbles under his breath and throwing a glare at Peyton.
Kendrick taps a fork against his bottle of beer as his wife, Maria, turns down the music. “Oi, fuckers, will you shut up for a minute?” he hollers. “Even though he isn’t our captain anymore, he’s still old as fuck and deserves the same respect.”
Ethan flips him off. “Fuck you.”
I sit up and flick my gaze over to Blaine. He’s wearing a knowing smile, like he’s in on some kind of secret. I try to use my twinny mind powers to ask him,What do you know?but he doesn’t answer me.
“So, we have some news to share,” Ethan announces, sliding his arm around Jacob’s waist and tugging him closer.
When Jacob places a hand on Ethan’s chest and smiles up at him, everyone lets out a collective gasp. It takes a while for me to register what everyone is getting worked up over, and then I spot the ring on Jacob’s finger.
His ring finger.
“We got married today at City Hall,” Jacob says without taking his eyes off Ethan. His now-husband presses a kiss to his lips, and I flinch when the room erupts in noise.
Everyone swarms the two of them, hugging and sharing their congratulations. It wasn’t long ago Ethan was closed off and reluctant to let anyone in because of getting hurt in the past. He even kept us at a distance. Those who were closest to him. But then he met Jacob, and one summer in England changed everything.
He deserves this happiness. They both do.
Grinning, I push myself off the couch and make my way over to them. “Congrats! I’m so happy for you.” I give them both a hug. “If I had known, I would’ve been your flower boy.”
Jacob chuckles and gives my arm a squeeze. “We kept it very small, with it being at the City Hall. Plus, we wanted to surprise everyone, otherwise you would have made the perfect flower boy.”
I force myself to give my brightest smile to hide the fact my heart has plummeted into my chest. If they kept it small, that means Blaine likely went with Alex…
So, what did I do to upset them to not get invited?
I step aside, the familiar overwhelming pain blooms in my chest, and my entire body becomes too hot. This happens every time I feel left out or when I’ve disappointed someone. Like when I get pulled from a game and Coach can barely look at me in the eye. It’s like I’ve taken a hit by the shame train.
Nausea settles in the back of my throat. I search for my brother, finding him in the kitchen with Alex. Blaine’s brows furrow in concern as I slide into the space next to him, keeping my back to the rest of the room.
“What’s up?” he asks quietly.
“Are they upset with me?”
His frown deepens as he shakes his head. “Of course they’re not. What makes you think that?”
I swallow roughly. I don’t want to make this about me, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about everything I’ve done recently that could have upset Ethan or Jacob. Are they mad at me for something? Did I say something wrong at Christmas?
“They didn’t invite me,” I whisper, hating the crack in my voice.
His face softens in understanding. “It doesn’t mean they’re mad at you, El. They were only allowed three people, and Ethan’s mom came too.”
Although I know Blaine is right, it doesn’t stop the heaviness in my chest. Why am I like this? My mom always said I was a sensitive kid growing up, and I would let my emotions get the better of me. I’ve never learned how to turn it off. It’s like the irrational side of my brain takes over, blocking out the logical part, and I spiral into this pit of devastation and rejection.
I fucking hate it.
Needing to get some air, I turn to sneak upstairs, but Blaine grabs my arm. His face is pinched in a serious expression. “You know they love you, right?”
I give a shaky nod. Deep down, Idoknow that, but it’s going to take some time for me to remember that.
He lets me go, and I head up the stairs until I reach the top floor. It’s quieter up here, giving me the chance to hear myself think. I take a seat on the cushions in one of the bay windows that overlook their backyard.
Pulling out my phone, I bring up the text thread with Hunter. I hope he isn’t on a call because I know he’s working right now, but I need to hear his voice.
Hey
