As we make our way around, more people start to show up, stopping us for photos and autographs. I can’t help but wonder if they told me an earlier time because they were expecting me to show up late.
Shame trickles through my veins at the thought.
Would they do that? I know I’m late sometimes, but am I that much of a liability?
Before my brain can spiral into a pit of self-doubt, Blaine and his boyfriend, Alex, make their way toward us.
“There you are,” I say, giving Blaine’s arm a shove to keep up the pretense of my earlier texts. “You made me late.”
“No, I didn’t?” he replies, and given the look of confusion on his face, I’m guessing he hasn’t looked at his phone.
I bounce on my toes, trying to think on the fly, but I can’t remember what I said in my texts.
“Uh, yeah, you did—” I start to argue, but my words die on my tongue as something captures my attention on the other side of the parking lot.
A fire engine, beside a truck and an ambulance.
Fuck, I love fire trucks. I wanted to be a firefighter when I was growing up, but my stupid-ass claustrophobia meant that could never happen. There’s no way I would have been able to get through training without breaking out into a panic attack. But it hasn’t stopped me from still liking everything to do with them, even as an adult.
“Well, hello there.” I grin, rubbing my hands together. “What have we here?”
I know the team does some work with the local first responders, but I didn’t know they were going to be here. This is so exciting. I wonder if they’ll let me sit in it. They probably would, but that means asking, and the thought of going up to them andaskingmakes me want to puke. Surely there’s another way I can get their attention. I could get stuck in a tree, then they would have to come and get me out.
But as I look around, that idea falls flat because there are no trees in the parking lot. I should put in a complaint about the lack of trees because where will the squirrels live?
“Don’t even think about it,” Ethan grumbles beside me, almost like he can see into my brain.
I narrow my eyes at my captain and whisper, “You don’t even know what I was gonna do.”
“Something that’ll get you into trouble, I’m sure.”
I give him my most charming smile. “I was looking for a tree. I was thinking I could climb it and pretend to get stuck. Y’know,like cats do. Then one of those hunks would come and rescue me, because nobody puts a goalie in a tree.”
Just as the words leave my lips, another idea comes to the front of my mind, and my eyes widen in excitement. This is a fucking perfect idea. “What if I pretend to get stuck on the fun slide? Do you think they’d rescue me there?”
I’m only half-joking. Kinda. Because getting stuck means they would have to come to me, so it’s different. And it avoids my stomach getting all twisted up.
Blaine barks out a laugh. “Please do that. It’ll be funny.”
“You don’t need to get stuck anywhere to speak to them, El. Maybe just go over there and say hey. You never know, they might let you sit in the truck,” Alex says with an encouraging smile.
But my brain immediately shrieks,On my own?
At what point in life does it become easier? I thought being an adult would mean these social nerves would go away. I’m twenty-eight years old, for fuck’s sake, and I struggle to do things on my own without breaking into a sweat.
I can speak to random people no problem, but it’saskingfor things that’s something I struggle with. Like when I was ordering a pizza one time, I got myself so worked up on the phone because I had to call instead of using the app, and I ended up asking if I could make an appointment instead of placing an order. It’s like the wires in my brain are all jumbled up, and I get myself in a mess.
But I could go over there and say hey. That doesn’t seem scary, right? They might extend the offer to sit in the truck without me having to ask.
“And press the siren?” I ask curiously, feeling a little bit of confidence beginning to build.
“Maybe,” Alex beams.
I love how much confidence he has in me. He’s good for my brother.
Sucking in a deep breath, I nod a couple of times. More to myself than anything. I can do this. I can go over to them and say hi.
But what if they think I’m weird?
