‘Fighting won’t help.’ Gwen’s voice rippled through her, and she felt the power of the water witch roll over her, examining her, in the distracted way someone might examine a puzzle. ‘In fact, fighting makes it worse. Surrender to it. The truth will set you free. That’s the secret of the mask. But you know that, don’t you, Ariadne Walker? You’re clever. You worked it out.’
‘It’s yours.’ She didn’t know where she managed to get the air to make those words. Her voice was thin and desperate, but she forced it out. She felt delirious with pain.
‘It is far older than anything on this earth. But it was mine, for a time. Don’t fight, Ariadne. Endure. Survive, if you can.’
Don’t fight, she repeated to herself.Endure it. Surrender to her.
Gwen got to her feet and walked to stand in front of her, looking up at her…what, her sacrifice? Her offering?
The feeling of becoming untethered from the world returned. Ari was drifting. Mist closed around her.
Simon’s hands took hers, their fingers tangling together as they used to, long ago.
‘You left me,’ she told him. ‘You told me you didn’t love me anymore.’ The constriction round her throat eased just a little. She gasped for air. But all she inhaled was freezing mist. Without the pendant there, she felt like a vital part of her was missing, her last connection to him.
‘I know,’Simon replied, taking pity on her. How desperate did your situation have to be for the Servant of Death itself to have pity for you?‘I’m sorry, but it was too late by then.’He glanced at Gwen.‘I didn’t realise what it would mean. When I died…’His voice trailed off in a sigh.
Ari felt the throb of her heart, like an open wound. She could speak now. ‘When you died, I fell to pieces. But I was broken before that. Simon, you shattered me. How could I trust again? How could I trust anyone?’ How could she trust Rafael, she wanted to say. But she couldn’t. What if he could still hear her? She wasn’t even sure if she was speaking out loud or not. It didn’t matter. Simon seemed to know anyway.
‘You need to let go, Ari,’Simon whispered.‘You need to let me go. I never deserved you anyway.’
‘Yes.’ The word came out as a sob, all that heartbreak she had kept locked away inside her. ‘Yes you did.’
She closed her eyes and tried to remember the two of them together, the day she’d given him the pendant, sitting together on the cliffs, in bed, studying in the college library, laughing, his kiss…
But the arms that held her closest were Rafael’s, the form her body remembered cradling her most clearly was Rafael’s. The man she trusted, the one she was starting to believe in. The reason she was doing this.
‘Ari,’Simon said softly, and pressed his icy lips to hers. No words, no pointless protestations, no lies. Not a single lie. Just his kiss.‘I should have loved you better. I should have gone with you. But I was selfish. I wanted too much. Let go now, my love. Embrace a future. Stop running.’
She surrendered to it and felt the mask loosen. Just a little. And the words came out of her in a rush. ‘I still love you, I always did. All I had left was that necklace. The last piece of us.’
The words hurt. God, they hurt. But there was not a word of a lie in them. She wanted to deny it, but she knew that would kill her. Now more than ever. Yes, she still loved Simon. Part of her would always love Simon.
She barely knew Rafael, but somehow he touched her more deeply than anyone had before. It was a different kind of love. Neither one detracted from the other.
‘Mon coeur,’Simon murmured, his lips pulling back from hers.‘You have to let go. You have to release yourself.’
Simon’s hands on hers tightened for a moment, squeezing her fingers. She opened her eyes and he was there with her, floating like a dream in the nothingness surrounding her. She met his gaze again, and there were tears on his face. Simon Poullain, who had been everything to her, was just a ghost now. His cold touch, his pale face, his white hair…he was no longer the man she had known. He hadn’t been for a very long time.
How could she heave those words into her mouth? How could she give voice to them? But she had to. She understood that now. She had to.
‘I will. I love you, Simon, but I forgive you and I release you.’
But the mask still didn’t come loose. It clung to her, little barbs of pain digging into her skin.
Golden lights raced through him. His hair turned fair instead of white, his skin sun-kissed instead of deathly pale. Slowly he changed back to Simon, her Simon.
Ari smiled. She couldn’t help herself. She reached out a shaking hand to touch his cold face.
And felt the world dimming, her eyes failing her as the mask drained the last of her away.
‘Ari…’She heard his voice, the last thing she heard. Not Simon.Rafael.
All around her, the icy mist crept higher and Simon reached out, picking the mask off her face.‘This is not for you,chérie. You have a life. You have a future. Go back.’
It came away effortlessly and she stood there, facing him. Mist surrounded them, so cold, impenetrable. She knew if she stepped into it, she would be lost and her life would be over. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did.
But there was one thing she still needed to know, one question that still had to be answered.
