The door opened slightly and Jason poked his head in. ‘I’ve brought tea,’ he said, like he was approaching with a white flag.
‘Tea’s good,’ she sighed, because she was a grown woman and she couldn’t just keep relapsing into tears and tantrums. ‘Thank you.’
Ari cradled the mug in her hands while Jason sat beside her. He handed over her phone and her bag, all the things she’d left with him on the boat. She checked the phone, saw a few missed calls and notifications, but didn’t want to look more closely than that. She wasn’t sure which would be worse: if Rafael had tried to ring her or if he had not. She shoved it deep into her pocket.
Jason watched, waiting. ‘Want to tell me what happened?’
It was excruciating. She gripped the tea even harder. ‘Not really. I was stupid. And naïve.’ Even saying the word made her stomach twist in on itself. She heard Laure’s accent, and her disdain, clinging to the syllables. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. Just happy to be alive, I guess. And then…well, when you’re in the middle of a fight and he just leaves to take a work call, and then his sister hands you her cast-off clothes and offers to call a lift home, it doesn’t say hang around, does it? Especially when I overheard him pulling our funding too. I thought he really cared about Ys but…’
She couldn’t tell him about seeing Simon as well. He’d think she was insane. Rather than just stupid.
Jason stared at the floor, and she knew he was controlling his temper. It was a superhuman effort from him. Any second now, he’d yell and call her a fool, and blame her for messing up everything he’d worked for.
But he didn’t.
‘I’ve been a shit brother, haven’t I?’ he said at last.
‘What? No.’
He laughed, a brief, dismissive sound. ‘Yes I have. Throwing you at him, being a dick about it, threatening to trade you for cows… I’m sorry, Ari.’
The mix of regret and his trademark sense of humour made her smile. Not to mention her own relief. It startled her to hear him say it, though, and she didn’t know how to reply. Instead she nudged him with her hip and he shoved his back at her, because they’d always sorted things out that way in the past.
‘It wasn’t your fault, Jason,’ she said at last. ‘I should have been more careful.’
‘Yeah, but…I don’t know. I just thought…it’s been two years, and he’s cute…I was stupid.’
She shook her head, drank the tea and tried not to cry again. Jason was right. Rafael was more than cute. And it had felt like it was time to move on. He was stunning, challenging, the man of her dreams…
And now all those nascent dreams were shattered into pieces.
Stupid dreams.
‘What’s that?’ Jason asked. The photograph of Simon and Gwen lay on the floor in the sprawl of items from the box.
‘Oh it’s just…’ But he’d picked it up before she could stop him.
‘What the hell? Is that Simon and Gwen?’
She nodded, started to make excuses and then…gave up. Instead, she opened the drawer and took out the letter. ‘You should read this. I got it the week before he died. I should have told you but…well, when he died…’
Jason took it, frowning, and read in silence.
She noticed when his hand began to shake because the paper did too.
It didn’t take long. It wasn’t a long letter. When he finished, he looked aghast.
‘This was with it.’ She flicked the necklace.
‘I wondered how you got it back,’ he murmured. ‘Why did you keep it? If he did this, then why…?’
Ari shrugged. She wasn’t sure she had an answer to that. Not really. ‘It was all I had of him.’
‘But this doesn’t make any sense. None of it. He adored you. I know he adored you. You were all he could talk about. The day I left…Ari, the day I left, he was planning a trip to see you for your birthday.’
She shook her head. ‘Well…he didn’t.’ She didn’t know what else to say.
‘Have you asked Gwen?’
