It made it easy to put a hand on his arm. “As you said, she can’t disappear entirely, Ash. There’ll be time enough to talk to Lady Booth after Christmas.”
He covered her hand with his own. “I think you could keep me sane, Genova.”
“Is your sanity in doubt?”
“Constantly. Especially recently.”
He put his finger beneath her chin, and when shedidn’t resist, he kissed her. It was light and simple, but perhaps the sweetest kiss they’d shared. She didn’t request a guinea, and he didn’t offer one.
“I should be doing my duty to the Yule log,” he said, with a last glance at Sheena. “Will you try to find out what she knows?”
“Of course, but she really does understand virtually no English.”
He grimaced, then walked away.
Genova turned back to Sheena, who was still looking wary. To soothe the girl, Genova plucked a cake from a passing tray.
Sheena brightened immediately and consumed it. The baby slept on, but he could awaken at any moment. Genova hated to spoil Sheena’s treat, but she had to. “You must return to the nurseries,” pointing toward the great stairs.
Sheena shook her head, but Genova insisted and began to steer her that way. Genova went slowly, however, and chose various delicacies for the girl along the way.
To allow Sheena to enjoy them, Genova took the baby for a while and found comfort for herself in the bundle. There was something about a baby that brought the world into perspective.
When they reached the stairs, singing started over near the Yule log. Sheena stopped to listen, and since the baby was still fast asleep, Genova took the girl up three steps so they’d have a better view.
A group of gentlemen, including Ash, was singing a Christmas round about spiced ale and cheer. It would probably be called a glee, and once Genova would have thought glee and Ash uncomfortable partners. No longer. There was a joyous man in him, and he might be breaking free.
Then some ladies sang “The Holly and the Ivy,” led by Damaris Myddleton, who did have a lovely voice. Everyone began to join in.
Genova rocked the baby, praying the swelling sound wouldn’t wake him. A twitch of the bowed lips wasalmost like a smile. A deep need stirred then, a powerful need to have children of her own. To bear one man’s children.
She looked across at Ash. Her heart was given.
It was a strange recognition. Not dramatic, but calm and certain. This wasn’t a fit of wild lust or a passing infatuation.
Well, then. What was she going to do about it?
She was no grand lady, but she could be a good wife for him, she was sure. They were equals in all the ways that mattered. Hadn’t he just said that she could be his sanity?
She didn’t know all she would need to know, but that would have been true if she’d encouraged the courtship of Hester’s neighbor, a wine merchant. She could learn. She would enjoy learning. She would even learn how not to sneeze in the royal presence.
And love must weigh in the balance, especially a love like this, which she thought he shared. Only thought, but surely that would become clear.
Then there was the physical. Yes, indeed, there was the physical, not to be discounted when it came to marriage. A happy bed was the heart of that. She could certainly be happy in his bed, and she hoped she could make him happy in turn.
Make a rake happy enough to be faithful?
She remembered him saying he intended to be a good husband. He might not have meant fidelity, but it was a start.
She allowed herself to watch him a little longer, absorbing the change in everything. Her new thoughts and feelings were as frightening as naked blades, but as exciting. Yes, she was someone who needed to live on the edge.
The song ended in laughter and chatter, and a little noise pulled her out of thought. Charlie wasn’t crying, or about to, thank heavens, but his big eyes were wide and alert. It was time to get him away from here.
She put the baby in Sheena’s arms. “Charlie’s awake. You must take him back upstairs.”
She pointed upstairs, but Sheena shook her head.
Genova was about to insist when the girl pointed toward the back of the house, saying something equally firmly. Of course. By now she’d have learned to use the servants’ stairs.
