“And your resolute resistance was?”
She didn’t like to speak of it, because some people treated her as a heroine, and others considered her unwomanly. Thalia wouldn’t have known about it if her father hadn’t told the tale. He was one who thought it heroic.
“Well?” Ash asked.
“I shot one of the pirates who boarded.” After a moment, she added, “I killed him. And I knew what I was doing. My father taught me to use a pistol and where to aim. I was frightened. The pirate looked at me and he wanted me. He was the captain, and he would have raped me.” The words spilled out. “So I killed him.”
He stroked her hair. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, love. Quite the opposite. Killing him probably broke the will of his crew.”
“That’s what my father said.”
She was circling, deciding whether to tell him the final part. She knew from the steady look in his eyes that he guessed there was more.
She looked away. “I desired him,” she whispered. “Something about him, bold and confident, exuding that power that such men have, made me breathless.”
She looked back at him and told him the one thing she’d never shared with another.
“I thought he might not have to rape me, and it was intolerable. He was looking at me, grinning at me, as I raised the pistol. Heknewhow I was feeling and that was intolerable, too. And it let me kill him. He never moved. I can only suppose that he didn’t believe that a woman who…lusted after him would shoot.”
He gathered her into his arms. “It was brave and it was right. He was a villainous pirate who’d doubtless killed many and enslaved more. He would have raped you whether your body responded to him or not, then sold you into a harem. Rejoice, Genni, at being able to act when you need to.”
The old burden of it shrank, then disappeared. “I love you, Ash.”
“And I love you. I think.”
She looked disapproval at him. “Only think?”
“It’s a novel emotion.” He was teasing, but he added seriously, “I want honesty between us, Genni. Complete honesty.”
“Yes. Honesty.” Unable to believe how things were getting even better, she sat up to face him. “As forlove, I’ve never been in love before, either. Oh, I’ve felt something, and once or twice I’ve been besotted. But it wasn’t like this. You’ve become the steady heartbeat of my world, Ash.”
“And you of mine.” He rubbed a tender hand along her thigh. “I’ll try to mitigate the hurt.”
“Hurt?”
“It won’t be easy.”
She recognized that honesty wasn’t always easy, but that made what he was doing more precious. He was acknowledging the problems they faced.
Lady Calliope was opposed to the match, and she might not be the only one. The dowager marchioness would certainly fight it—she wanted him to marry Miss Myddleton’s money. Most of his world would think him a fool to marry for love. Even the king might disapprove. Together, however, they could conquer all of this.
“You will be accepted at court again?” she asked.
“I presume Rothgar will work his magic.”
“You resent that?” she asked. “Of course you do. A generation of conflict can’t be smoothed away in a night.”
“It certainly would have been pleasanter to force him to assist.” But he pulled a humorous face at her. “I’m reformed, love, I promise.”
“I like you as you are formed,” she said, approving of his body with her hands. “What made the papers you hold so dangerous? Something to do with truth, I think, and possibly to do with that strange D’Eon?”
“You’re too sharp by far, Genni. Forget it.”
She stroked his cheek, his jaw. Disheveled, beard-shadowed, he was just a man. They were simply a man and a woman, naked in bed. The sinews of history, the bones of life.
“I hope you’ll share things with me, Ash. All things. I can be trusted, but in any case, the marriage bed is sacrosanct. Wives can’t testify against husbands.”
“Wives? Genni…”
