“Um… you definitelydon’tlook like you’re a part of the wedding party. You look incredible. Way hotter than any bridesmaid I've ever seen.”
I smile at my friend who’s grinning at me like a fool.
“It’s the Clay Cameron effect. You’re glowing,” she says giving a thumbs up in approval.
“I’m scared to ask what the Clay Cameron effect is.”
She stands and brushes imaginary lint from her jeans. “After Kelly got with Clay, she got promoted at work.To senior accountant.”
“Are you saying I’m going to get offered a job at the hospital once Clay and I break up?”
Once Clay and I break up…
The words leave my lips before I can think about it and verbalizing them causes a pain to shoot through my heart.
It’s inevitable.
Lucy shrugs before continuing, “And after Becky and Clay hooked up, she gotmarried. Married, Maggie. She’s only twenty-seven years old and knew the next guy for only one month before getting engaged!”
I swallow the lump that’s now fully formed in my throat. Was this all I would be relegated to in this small town once Clay and I announce our fake break up from our fake relationship?
Who was Maggie Hollister before she dated Clay Cameron?the people in our small town would reminisce.Shy, agreeable, sweet, inexperienced, practically still a virgin! After Clay Cameron fucked her silly and then left her, she got a big girl job, got engaged, married with three kids and a white picket fence!
I shiver, hating the way that sounds in my head. The Clay Cameron effect isn’t something I wanted happening to me unless itincludesClay.
That thought drops into my consciousness for only a moment before I’m bending over, feeling nauseous and gasping for air.
“Shit, are you alright, Maggie?” Lucy’s by my side now, a tender hand pressed into my spine.
“Yea, yea, I just feel a little... dizzy.” I glance down at my feet, noticing a bit of swelling in my ankles and the familiar ache in my joints. “Maybe I should wear flats instead of wedges. I think these might be too tight.”
“No way, you need the extra height if you don’t want to look ridiculous dancing with Clay all night. Plus, they make your calves look insanely toned,” Lucy responds.
Ok, yeah, I guess she’s right.
I’m sure I’m just overreacting to the emotions of what’s happening between Clay and me. It’s confusing, honestly, just like Clay is to me most days. This is just for fun, for show, I remind myself. My dad has been the happiest I’ve seen him in years since I told him I was dating Clay. If this brings him some peace while I’m home, then so be it. And if it helps Clay with his training and his family getting off his back, then I’m doing him a favor too.
This is almost for charity!
Yep, sure, that's what I'll tell myself.
Thirty minutes later, a glass of ice water, and my immunosuppressive medication taken, I’m on my way to Clay’s apartment. He’d offered to pick me up, but I knew I needed the time alone in the car to give myself a pep talk—why this was all fine.
Totallyfine.
I was about to attend his ex-girlfriend’s wedding, with my dad watching, alongside a guy much older than me who’d been with the bride for close to a decade.
They had history. Maybe not anymore, but at one time, he’d probably considered what it’d be like marrying her. Now he’s going to watch her marry the new love of her life while she’s pregnant with twins.
No big deal, right?
Yea, this is totally fucking fine.
I don’t even get a chance to knock on his apartment door before it flies open and Clay’s pulling me into his chest.
“Jeez, you scared me,” I laugh, though I’m instantly hit by how good he smells. And damn, he looks just as good too—tall, beard trimmed, in a perfectly tailored navy-blue suit with a matching tie and crisp white button-up. His hair is damp like he's justgotten out of the shower and his cologne is a deliciously musky and woodsy scent I've begun associating with him.
It’s starting to annoy me how put together he always is, while I feel like a total mess inside around him—completely out of control, like a tornado of confusion fumbling through life, trying to keep my heart and mind separated.
