“Later,” I said and put the bottle back down. “But to answer your question?—”
“Are you purposely giving me emotional/sexual whiplash?”
“Yup, I don’t want our conversation to turn depressing. I’m tired of not being the boss of my own life, per Mamma’s advice. As for the bishop, he was decent. He was disturbed when I toldhim about Father Matthew coming here and agreed to submit my complaint. And before I left, he said something strange. That he trusted I’d put God’s love to use in whatever means that may come my way.”
“Sounds almost prophetic,” Ethan said as he finished the last of his food.
“I know. But he said it kindly and now that I’m thinking about the whole closure thing with respect to Mamma’s perspective, maybe closing out with the bishop on good terms is enough.”
Ethan stood and opened his arms for me. “You’re amazing,tesoro, and stronger than you realize.”
I let him enfold me in his arms as I took in his scent of sandalwood and musk with only a hint of having worked on engines all day. But I didn’t mind because it was who my amazing man was.
The doorbell rang and we looked at each other. Dread tumbled in my belly. “Ethan, don’t let anyone in that came for me.”
“Believe me Jude, no one is getting past me,” he growled.
I trailed behind him as he looked through the peephole. Glancing over his shoulder he said, “It’s Gabby. Did Frank or Mamma say anything about her coming here?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Let her in. You have to talk to her.”
“Yeah,” he said glumly.
Ethan opened the door and stepped aside. “Come on in, Gabby.”
She stepped in cautiously, peering at me and then at Ethan. “Is this a bad time?”
He didn’t answer for the longest time and I thought she might turn and run. But then Ethan closed the door behind her and said, “I just finished eating. Let’s sit in the kitchen.”
“Do you want any coffee, Gabby?” I asked. “I was just going to make a cup for Ethan.”
“No,” she said so softly I almost didn’t hear her. “Morning sickness that lasts all day.”
“How about chamomile tea?” I asked, noting how gaunt she was and the pasty appearance of her skin.
“Thank you,” she said and sat where Ethan gestured.
“Don’t bother with coffee for me, Jude,” he said, taking out another beer.
I cleared his dishes and the empty bottle and then put the kettle on. I purposely didn’t sit down while I waited for the water to boil, allowing them a one-on-one.
“I’m sorry, Ethan,” she said, her brown eyes clouded with unshed tears. “I-I don’t know what to say. I can’t undo the wrong. My only defense…” She dropped her gaze to her lap. “… is that I wasn’t aware that I was using you. I was so caught up in trying to save my marriage.”
I made Gabby’s tea and put a couple packets of sweetener next to the mug with a spoon. Then I took my regular seat at the table. I wanted to take Ethan’s hand but I had no hint of what he was thinking or feeling, and I didn’t want to appear as if he was vulnerable in front of Gabby.
He took a long pull of his beer and then another until over half the bottle was empty. When he set it on the table with a thud, I saw his brows pull downward and when he spoke it was between clenched teeth. “You fucked with my life, Gabby. The baby’s life. And your own. You never wanted to carry a baby. And the despair and hate you’re carrying inside is going to eat you both up.”
“I know,” she cried, snapping her head in his direction. “I fucking know.” Her tears flowed freely and I truly felt for her as much as for Ethan. “That’s why I have to know that you’ll forgive me. You mean s-so much and I’m t-trying hard to do right,” shepleaded, sniffling and choking as her words tumbled out of her mouth. “P-please, Ethan.”
I tried to get Ethan’s attention but he didn’t waver from his steely focus on her, which was making her cry more. Finally, he got up and tore off a sheet of paper towel and slid it to her. He waited for her to blow her nose and wipe at her eyes and then said, “Gabby, look at me.” When she met his gaze, he said, “I’d never not forgive you.Sei come una sorella, si?”
She jerked her head up and down like a bobblehead. “Si.”
“I wouldn’t talk to you when my anger and frustration were too new. I also had to process thewhat ifswith Jude. And you’re trying to put things to right. Frank said your first therapy session went well. Has Belle been in touch?”
Gabby blew her nose again and wrapping her hands around the mug, took a sip of tea. “No, I’m having my lawyer speak for me.”
“So, there’s no chance of reconciliation.”
