Frank batted his leg. “After the accident, I was a mess mentally as well as physically. And after months of this beautiful woman taking my bullshit”—he patted Mamma’s hand—“she gave me an ultimatum. I had to start seeing a therapist or she’d walk out.” He snorted. “Took me all of two minutes to take the phone number from her of someone she’d found. I wentfor a solid year, and she was in on a handful of the sessions as well. It helped immensely that I could vent in a controlled environment.”
I raised my glass and the four of us clinked them with a chorus of “Cin cin.”
Then I leaned into Jude and after kissing his cheek, I asked, “You good?”
“Perfect,” he said.
A short while later, all our plates were cleaned. As Frank and I had seconds, Jude helped Mamma clear the table. I appreciated Frank and Mamma keeping our conversation casual. But when espresso was served and Mamma put a platter of assorted Italian cookies on the table, there was an obvious change of mood.
Frank clapped his hands together once and said, “I guess it’s time for the important stuff.”
“We’re ready,” I said, not wanting to isolate Jude.
Frank doubled down when he spoke directly to Jude. “Jude, Mamma and I know that talking about a baby when you and Ethan are so new won’t be easy. If at any point in the conversation, you would rather be a hundred miles away, you say the word and Ethan will take you home. We don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.”
Jude’s eyes watered and he grabbed my hand under the table. “Frank, thank you,” he said and then looked at both of them. “I appreciate your understanding. Ethan told me the same thing before we came in.” His brown eyes were soulful and seemed to reflect his emotions. “I don’t know how I got so lucky first to meet Ethan and through him, to meet you.” Then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my mouth. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly when he realized what he’d done.
Frank waved him off. “There’s nothing better than a show of love in this house.”
Mamma slid her hand over the smooth wooden surface as if considering how to start. But then her eyes filled with unshed tears and Frank squeezed her hand. She gestured for him to speak.
“Gabby told us about your meeting yesterday. And Ethan, let me just tell you that I had a very similar reaction. So, the fact that you demanded time before talking to her again doesn’t come as a surprise, given your loving nature. She asked Mamma and I to talk to you about the decision she’s made.”
My body went bone cold. I saw the raw pain in both of their eyes. No wonder Mamma was on the verge of sobbing. And now, meeting Frank’s gaze head-on, I said, “She’s not keeping the baby.”
Frank lowered his head. “No.”
“I’m hoping she’ll have a change of heart when the baby arrives,” Mamma said but neither her eyes nor her voice translated to believing her own words. “To be honest, I was afraid that she might’ve chosen to have an abortion. And that would’ve been a hard pill to swallow. I’m all for women making decisions for their own bodies but her pregnancy was orchestrated right down to begging you to be the donor.”
Jude drew closer to me and held both my hands on my lap. “How does the adoption work? Is she willing to wait until the baby is born?”
“Frank and I hope so. The most obvious is that when she holds the infant for the first time, she’d forget all about giving it up.”
Mamma extended her hand toward me. “Mio caro figlio,” she began and then apologized to Jude when she realized that she’d slipped into Italian. “Sorry, Jude. I have a habit of calling Ethan my dear son.” On a chuckle, she said, “I forget that everyone doesn’t speak Italian.”
“Understandable that you slip into your native language,” Jude said. “Especially in times of stress. Thanks for including me.”
“Always,” I said, speaking for myself as well as Mamma.
Mamma continued. “Frank and I see how invested you are in the baby, Ethan. What we’re proposing is lifechanging and considering your relationship with Jude is so new, this is a big ask.” Mamma shifted her gaze to Frank.
Frank cleared his throat. “Ethan, Mamma and I would like you to consider adopting the baby if Gabby remains adamant about giving it up.”
“You wouldn’t want to raise the child yourselves?” Jude asked. “You’re still young enough.”
“Being fifty-seven, we’re not over the hill,” Frank agreed. “And for a hot minute, Mamma and I considered it. But no, the baby deserves a parent… or parents… who can run and play and doesn’t have a stiff leg.” He grabbed Mamma’s hand. “Plus, in a couple of years when I retire, we’re looking forward to traveling. Spending extended periods of time in Italy. The only way we’d raise the child is if you chose not to, Ethan. You need the freedom to make the decision that’s right for you. So be assured, no matter what you decide, the baby will stay in the family.”
“I’m not surprised, after Gabby’s comments yesterday. As such, I appreciate your assurance.” I squeezed Jude’s shoulder. “Come outside with me.” Then addressing my surrogate parents, I said, “Give us a few minutes.”
“Of course,” Mamma said, gesturing with her hand to the outside. “It’s a beautiful day to sit by the pool. Take your time.”
I led Jude to the other side of the pool and we sat opposite each other at the picnic table, which was shaded by an umbrella. The temperature was near eighty, but my body was still chilled by the information. I fucking didn’t know what to say to Jude and like a coward, waited him out.
Jude reached across the table and said, “Give me your hands.” When he clasped them in his, he said, “Ethan, this has to be solely your decision. We’re too new for me to have a say. And honestly, I don’t want one. My only input is what you already know. Gabby has put you in an impossible spot. And those two wonderful people in there,” he said, lifting his chin toward the house, “wouldn’t think any less of you if you chose to still be the special papa who visits.”
“I understand that you’d rather not weigh in on my decision. There’s also the slim chance that Gabby might decide to keep the baby. Either way, we won’t know for another seven months. My question to you is, will you stay until the baby is born? I’m not going to decide until the baby arrives. If Gabby doesn’t immediately fall in love the instant she sees her little girl, that will be my answer, and only then I’ll decide. Do you know why?”
Jude shook his head, and I felt his hands get clammy.
