Gabby tossed her half-eaten burrito onto the paper wrapper and folded it up. “Yes.”
I covered her hand with mine. “Why, Gabby?”
“When I discovered I was pregnant, I was happy for a minute. Resentment took over until I had to be honest with myself. I never had it in me to have a baby. But I thought I could do it for Belle. Instead, every day I got more bitter. But the shitty part is, she began cheating on me long before the arguments about sperm donors and babies. With me working nights at the bar… she claimed that I handed her opportunities on a silver platter.”
“But you were working,” Jude said. “Did she ever go to the bar and hang out with you while you worked?”
“I used to ask her but she said it was my scene and not hers.”
I scoffed. “That’s where you met.”
Gabby let out a small, jerky sob. “We’ve been married for five years. And now because of this,” she complained, pointing to her belly, “it’s over. We’re over.”
I tensed, not sure whether I should point-blank ask her if she was planning to have an abortion.
While I pondered the best way to initiate the subject, Jude asked, also indicating her belly, “What’s next then?”
Another sob broke loose, and Gabby pressed the base of her hands into her eyes. After a minute, she lamented, “Spend a pathetic nine months getting fat to have a baby that I’d never planned on. It’ll ruin my figure, which is all I have going for me. Then decide whether I want to be a single mom or not.” She poked her finger at Jude and me. “Your faces are prettier than mine.”
“Gabby,” I snapped, irritated at how she was already perceiving the infant. Jude patted my leg but I was too worked up. “For fuck’s sake, you’re taking your frustration out on a five-week-old fetus. Belle could’ve been the one to carry the baby, whatever your reasons, I don’t fucking care. But you made it, Gabby. You begged me to donate the sperm, so now I’m invested in what you do because half the DNA is from me.” I jumpedup from the picnic bench, needing to sort out my emotions, a headache pulsing in my temples. Feeling them staring at my back, I heaved out a long sigh and took my seat again. Grabbing Gabby’s hand, I said, trying to stay calm even though my emotions were bubbling to the surface, “Please, don’t make any emotional decisions about the future until you’re in the mindset to do so. Secondly, if you want to maintain the incredible figure you have, you’ll stop with the crap food when you’re depressed and you’ll keep going to the gym.”
I thought Gabby might’ve ripped me a new one. Instead, she lowered her head, sliding the corner of the food wrapper between her fingers. “Don’t hate me. And I swear that I didn’t realize my motivation at the time. But…” She raised her gaze to me, pain deep in her dark eyes that reminded me of her mother. “I thought I might’ve been the one to bail on our marriage, since Belle was the one who’d always begged me to have a baby. If I had left, I knew that you’d be there to make sure the baby would be taken care of. I couldn’t depend on myself. But I could rely on you.”
“Wow,” Jude muttered under his breath.
“You set me up, Gabby,” I said in a hushed breath, then pushed back from the table and yelled, “fuck!” Ignoring the people sitting nearby who turned to stare at me, I lowered my voice. “I cannot deal with you right now.” I dug my key fob out of my pocket and tossed it to Jude. “Take me home, please.”
Jude jumped up as he caught the fob. As I walked away, I saw him turn back and raise his shoulders to Gabby before catching up to me. Neither of us said anything all the way home.
Once we were inside my apartment, I crushed Jude to me and whispered in his ear, “Don’t forget your promise to me, Jude,” I said, in an unforgiving tone. “Don’t leave me without saying goodbye.”
“I promise, I won’t hurt you, baby,” Jude said, his voice firm, resounding with conviction.
I knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. Hurt would be a given when he left. All I asked for was a chance for a final kiss. I had no expectation that he’d stay with me if Gabby decided to put the baby up for adoption—a possibility that made my anger resurge when I thought about how she’d used me. She knew I’d fight for the child before letting anyone else raise her, knowing that her parents would back me up. Did her parents even know that she and Belle had split? Gabby was infamous for keeping secrets from the family. The hurtful fact was that I’d always been the exception. Except for this time, when it really counted… when a baby was involved that had been created with my DNA. The thought made me weak-kneed.
“Ethan…?”
Jude’s voice catapulted me back to the present. “Are you all right? You paled.”
“I’m good,” I said, turning in his arms. After a moment’s decision, I suggested, “Let’s put on trunks, rent a cabana at the pool, and laze in the sun for the rest of the day. We can order takeout for dinner and then…” I whispered against his lips. “I’m going to fuck you.”
TWENTY
ETHAN
Jude blinked once.Twice. On the third time, he asked, “Tonight?”
“Uh-huh,” I confirmed. “As long as you still?—”
“I do,” Jude confirmed, his quick response had me smiling. “Yes, I’ve been thinking about you inside me ever since you had your fingers in there last night.”
“Then it’s a date,” I said, kissing him deeply, attempting to cleanse away the bad vibes from our meeting with Gabby. My phone pinged an incoming call and when I saw who it was, I ignored her. I was tempted to power it down but would be concerned if Frank or Mamma tried to get in touch. So instead, I sent her a text.
Me: I told you. I’m not talking
Gabby: E, I just want to explain
Me: Don’t harass me. I’ll talk when I’m ready
