When Father Jude replied, his tone was compassionate, his expression warm. “Whatever you share with me is inviolate.”
I thought for a moment. I’d broken the ice and my cock didn’t take over my brain like I thought it might when sitting across from the father.The man is more beautiful close up, I scoffed inwardly. But, of course, sitting in a confessional… in a church… might’ve had something to do with my lack of arousal. “Thank you, Father, but on second thought, I’m good for now. I really wanted to apologize for screaming outside the rectory the other night. I’d had a long day.”
“You’re forgiven, Ethan.”
His words robbed me of air. For a long beat I stilled, taken aback by being forgiven. Was God speaking through the father? Luca—the man I’d raped—had forgiven me.
Father Jude sat forward in his chair and pressed his hand to the wooden grille that separated us.
I shook myself from my stupor. “Sorry, it’s just that I didn’t think even God could forgive me.” I gave Father Jude a terse nod, vacated the confessional rather quickly, then dashed from the church.
Not wanting to delay in case the father came after me, I jogged to my truck and took off but pulled to the side of the road once I was out of sight of the church.
Despite his cryptic remark about God forgiving me and the memories that threatened to rise, I felt good just knowing that I’d introduced myself. Maybe next time I’d even last longer than hello, Father.
Right then, I needed company. And since I hadn’t eaten breakfast, I wasn’t keen to return to an empty condo. I pulled up a contact on my phone and pressed Call.
Gabby answered right before the call went to voicemail. Voice groggy with sleep, she groused, “You shit, you woke me up.”
“Sorry, but I’m desperate for your company,” I whined. “Please, Gabby.”
Gabby mumbled curses and then I heard what sounded like her throwing off bedding. “You know if my wife wasn’t away this would never be happening on a Saturday morning.”
“If your wife was home, I’d be bothering your brother instead,” I said sincerely. “Listen, I’ll even drive to you, and we can walk to the breakfast place of your choice.”
Gabby and her wife Belle lived in the neighboring town of Seal Beach in a bungalow two blocks from Main Street, where the shops and eateries were. “No need to come here first. Meet me at the Hangout.”
“You got it, and Gabby… thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah… give me some juicy gossip and we’ll call it square.”
I cringed at what I was going to share. “Better than gossip.”
“Okay then, see you in fifteen,” Gabby said, then disconnected the call.
I smiled as I merged back onto the road in the direction of the Hangout. Gabby always improved my mood and she had from our initial encounter, when her father brought me home to dinner. A dynamo bartender, hell on wheels, and a proud queer, she immediately made me comfortable. Over the last year, I’dcome to learn that more than anything, she was a good listener. I knew whatever I told her would stay between us, which I appreciated, since her father, Frank, was my supervisor at work.
I spotted Gabby approaching the restaurant. Traffic was slow going with tourists so I lowered my window and called out, “I should find something on tenth.”
Gabby indicated the line waiting to get inside. “I have a better idea. Meet me by the burrito stand.”
I gave her a thumbs-up and ten minutes later we took our bagged burritos and coffee to a small park across the street just a few yards away from the sand. There were fewer people because there wasn’t access to the beach, but they were under the shade of lush palm trees at the top of the stone, terraced seating with a panoramic view of the ocean.
I hummed in relief. Giving Gabby’s hand a quick squeeze, I said, “Thank you for meeting me this morning. This is much better than straining to have a conversation in a noisy restaurant.”
“It is, right?” Gabby sat cross-legged facing me. She began to peel the wrapper from her food when she paused. “Honey, what’s wrong? You don’t look well.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said in a self-deprecating tone.
Gabby raised a brow, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief. Her dyed black hair was buzzed and slightly longer at the top. She wasn’t pretty, and had slightly masculine features that reminded me of her dad. But her body brought the leering attention of both men and women, and to her mother’s horror, Gabby went braless. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda why I needed to talk to you. Hawk saw my back.”
“Oh, no, Ethan. I thought you had let up on the flogging.” There was no judgment in her tone. Only empathy.
I sipped my coffee to buy time. Then, after a beat I said, “I had for a few weeks, then suddenly the craving came back with a vengeance. Hawk threatened to ban me if I showed up at the gym with fresh bruises.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t spar with you, either.”
