Jude released me and scanned the open floor plan, intimate for two people yet spacious, allowing plenty of room to not bump into each other. The kitchen had the same open design with a wall of windows, which were the same as in the living area. A large balcony had the ocean view and the smaller one outside the bedroom still had a partial view. He raised his hand as if to count numbers and I was curious until he said, “It’s been fourteen years since I’ve lived in a private residence. And none as modern or clean as here.”
“What about the rectory?” I asked.
Jude scoffed. “The rectory doubled as the church offices and a venue the parishioners were welcome to use for small gatherings. My bedroom had only a full-sized bed, nightstand, and a floor lamp. There was a tiny bathroom and a kitchen with a café table and two chairs. Not very conducive to relaxation when your living room and TV are in a public space.”
“Well,” I said, spanning the room with my arm, “what are you waiting for?”
“It’s too soon, Ethan. We’ve only known each for a couple of months and we’re moving in together?”
I took Jude’s hand and led him to the sofa. “Yes, it is soon. But our circumstances are not the norm. If you don’t stay here, then you have to pay hotel rates for who knows how long? I’doffer this to any friend. And if you want, you can stay in the guest room Jude. Of course, I’d rather you be in bed with me, but…” I tamped down my emotions when I spoke next but my voice held more intensity than I’d expected. “I will not force you or make you feel uncomfortable, Jude. My offer stands either way. Are you clear on that?”
“Yes,” he said right away. “I trust you, Ethan. And I want to sleep next to you. I had the best sleep last night that I’ve had in years.”
I wanted so fucking much to pull him into my arms and kiss him senseless until we were gasping for air. But again, I held back and instead asked calmly, “Do you want to think about it for another day? We can always go tomorrow to collect your things.”
“No, Ethan. I’m good. I just needed to review your offer in my mind until it made sense. I’m trying not to let my emotions get involved.”
“Yeah, join the club,” I retorted.
Jude laughed and his eyes were bright with mischief. “Now that the decision is made, can we eat and then go to the hotel so I can grab my stuff and check out?” Jude stopped short. “Oh wait, no, that’s unfair to you. You’ve worked all day. I can take an Uber to the hotel tomorrow. I have to drive my car back anyway.”
“Jude,” I said, taking his hands in mine and kissing the knuckles. “You mentioned at lunchtime that you were going to have dinner ready. What did you make?”
“I was going to grill salmon. It’s been in the refrigerator marinating. I prepared the vegetables that I just have to sauté, and when I ordered groceries, I included a French baguette.”
“Perfect. Let me take a quick shower and change into sweats. Then we’ll get your things, come back home, and enjoy a glass of wine with a nice dinner to celebrate.” I peppered his knuckleswith kisses again with my own roguish grin spreading across my face. “I figure that we can be in bed cuddling by ten.”
Jude nodded and looked like he was going to say something, but instead he gestured toward my bedroom. His eyes appeared suspiciously moist, I guessed he was as emotional as I felt. He wasn’t wrong in that we were moving at warp speed. However, I meant what I’d said. From the beginning, starting with how we met, nothing had been normal. Still, each step of the way we’d found our footing. Even in bed, clear communication and asking for consent had made the difference. And at least for me, it made our sexual connection surreal.
Twenty minutes later, we were on the road, holding hands on the console. Most of Jude’s luggage had been locked in the trunk of his car and he already had his laptop bag with everything in it at my place. Therefore, he only had a duffle and some clothing on hangers.
I took his belongings to my truck while he went to the reception to check out. When he came out, I drove him to his car. which was parked in an area that was not well lit. When I knew he was safely inside and had the engine started, we headed home.
Home. As I drove, knowing that Jude was behind me, I pondered what the meaning of home was for me. I immediately conjured Frank’s home with Mamma, imagining the childhood that Gabby and her brother had with such loving parents. I craved what they had, including the kids. And that’s when my brain stuttered to a screaming halt. I remembered Jude saying that he didn’t want children. He seemed fine with me being a donor though. But this was a red flag I’d need to watch out for. In the meantime, I was going to enjoy every minute of my time with this sexy, beautiful man.
Later that night when we were in bed, each on our sides facing each other, I said, “I told Frank about you today.”
Jude had been outlining my tattoo with his finger but right then, his hand stiffened. “How much did you say?”
“I told him how we met and what was going on with you and the Church. I should’ve asked you first. I’m sorry but honestly, when I was driving to work and thinking about you meeting them, I didn’t want to talk about how we met in front of everyone. Neither did I want to hold out on Frank. He and Mamma have been parents to me. And I…”Fuck, I wasn’t going to tell him the next part, but we’d promised transparency with each other. “I just felt that bringing someone I cared about to meet them was a big deal. And in the course of conversation, they’re going to ask about your job, where you’re from… normal curiosity. So, I wanted them to be prepared for both your sake and theirs.”
The divot between Jude’s eyes deepened as I waited for his reaction. I now realized my error in not asking for his permission did not bode well. “What did he say?”
“He took me in a bear hug and reminded me to make sure to call Mamma because she’ll want to cook something special.” Caressing the side of his face, I murmured, “He was happy for me, Jude.”
“Nothing about being a priest?” Jude asked.
“No, Frank made it clear that it wasn’t his business. The caveat was that if you needed his backing with anyone who’s giving you a hard time. Then hewillmake it his business.”
“Shit, Ethan, is this guy for real? I’ve never had anyone, including my parents, offer that kind of unconditional support.”
“Now you understand why I care about them so much. He brought up my parents and stated flatly that since neither of us have people in our lives who don’t give a damn about our happiness, then as long as you’re with me, you’re part of the family, same way they took me in.”
Jude swung his body over mine, smothering me with featherlight kisses over my face and down my throat. “I knew that God is on my side no matter what the Church says. Otherwise, there’s no other way that I’d be this fortunate.” He licked at the corner of my mouth and then whispered in my ear. “Every time you do something thoughtful and loving, you take another piece of my heart.” He popped up. “So, did you call Mamma?”
I laughed. “Yes, when you were cooking inside and I was at the grill. Sunday early dinner at five. Is that, OK?”
Jude’s eyes shimmered in the low light. “Do I have permission to kiss you now?”
