I stroked her arm first and then across her forehead and on the other cheek. Her face followed my soft ministrations. “Daddy,” I said in a hush. “She’s blowing my mind right now.”
“Fuck, mine, too. You were so fearful that she wouldn’t like you but it seems that she doesn’t want you to be out of her sight.”
“It’s such a heady feeling. You try it, Daddy.”
“No way,” he said. “Her skin is too fragile and my hands are too rough. Mamma said the tiny pimples on her face go away but to be careful not to irritate them.”
Mamma came back in and I caught Daddy smiling at her. “Isabella seems to have a preference between Jude and me.”
Mamma quirked her eyebrows. “How is that?”
“Tesoro, show her.”
As I used featherlight touches, I cooed, “Hey, Isabella. Sweet girl.”
Mamma shook her head. “You have the touch, Jude. She must know that she’s named after you.”
I’d forgotten that Daddy had given her Jude as her middle name. “That’s right, Isabella Jude.”
“Ethan,” Mamma said. “She’s going to want a bottle soon. I have the sandwiches ready, then you and Jude can feed her when you’re done. That’ll give me time to get a few things done. Laundry for her in on the top of my list.”
Daddy put Isabella back in the bassinette and carried her into the kitchen where Mamma had set up two chairs facing each other. He set her down then gently shook it to make sure it was stable. Turning to Mamma, he said, “Are you sure that watching for every little thing gets easier?”
“I promise, it does,” Mamma said on a chuckle. “First-time parents are always nervous. Always afraid they’re going to harm their baby. As long as you watch for their head, you and they will be fine. Basically, they spend their days and nights sleeping, fussing only when they’re hungry. At this age, they need to feed every two to three hours. At the one-month milestone, you should be able to stretch the time to every four hours.”
“No wonder the sleepless nights,” I said. “I remember my sister grousing about being tired all the time.” I plated both mine and Daddy’s food. The sandwiches were on warm, crusty Italian bread stuffed with eggplant. Mamma must’ve placed them under the broiler because the cheese on top was melted. Then I took the pitcher of iced tea from the fridge and filled our glasses.
“Thank you,” Daddy said as he kissed me on the cheek.
While we ate, Mamma caught us up on Gabby. “She’s still really depressed and won’t even look at the baby. All she does is talk in terms of regret for having gotten pregnant. She hates the stretch marks and can’t wait until she can have them surgically removed.”
“I’m not surprised,” Daddy said. “Her body was her prized possession, and she’ll work hard to get back in shape. It’s the depression that bothers me for her. It makes you feel so desperate.”
Daddy ate another bite and then putting his plate aside, he took my hand and said, “Jude and I haven’t even spoken about adopting and we don’t plan to until the weekend. That was our deal. But even so, Mamma, I’m going to be as honest as I can. There are two things that make me hesitate.”
Mamma’s whole body slumped. “Ethan…”
“Mamma,” he said, his tone almost breaking with emotion. “This isn’t easy for me. I wanted to have a family but not before I had a partner and was ready to be a parent. Putting that aside, number one, I’m sure Frank told you about me going to Italy. Having to leave Jude every day in a foreign country where he doesn’t speak the language and has a six-month old baby is not a walk in the park. It’s going to be hard for him.”
I was shocked by Daddy’s speech. It was as if he wanted both Mamma and me to know that he’d be fine if I said no to the adoption.
“More importantly…” He released my hand and first peeking in at Isabella, he leaned toward Mamma. “I won’t take the risk of adopting Isabella while Gabby is in the throes of a deep depression. Because when she’s out of it, she might have a change of heart. I won’t be able to give this baby back once she’s mine. That would tear the family apart.”
Still slouched in defeat, Mamma said, “I don’t disagree,figlio. Gabby is so caught up in her own misery that she doesn’t admit to the situation she’s put us all in. I wanted to be a grandmother but not full time. Just as you’re not keen on taking on a family when you and Jude haven’t found your places with each other.”
I sat back and pondered the situation and Daddy’s take on it. And while I loved him for getting me off the hook, I startled even myself when I placed my hand in the bassinette to touch the silky soft skin and said, “Daddy, may I have a say? I’m seeing things differently than you and Mamma.”
“Pleasetesoro, say what you want. I need another perspective.”
“If Gabby keeps Isabella or if we adopt her, Mamma and Frank still have their granddaughter. So, there is no reason for the family to tear apart. I think you should talk with Gabby without me. One on one. Let her know your concerns, and if she agrees to an adoption, then she also has to be accountable. If at some point she changes her mind, she’s got to live with her decision and you shouldn’t feel guilty.
“As for Italy, we’ll be gone at the most for one year. Mamma isn’t bound by an outside job so she can visit all she wants for as long as she wants. When we look for housing, we’ll find something that will accommodate everyone.”
I grabbed Daddy’s hand and held on tight. “You made the decision to be the sperm donor knowing that Gabby and Belle were having problems. Yes, Gabby put you in a disconcertingposition, but you had the option to refuse if you really didn’t want a family yet. Instead, you agreed. I get that. But again, this little baby doesn’t give a damn.
“As for me being in Italy with her, we’ve talked about me learning the language. I have no job.” I winked at him. “You’re my sugar daddy. I can begin immersing myself now. Another thought about me being on my own during the day; I’d like to know how many ex-pats work at Maserati. Maybe they have resources for non-native partners who have children. What I’m trying to say is, we all have a responsibility to one person and one person only. And that’s Isa.”
“Isa?” Daddy asked.
