Benji got into a fight. I’m at his school and they got a new principal. This pic was on one of the tables in the room. Did you know she was in Clover?
Josh:
Fuck no! You know I haven’t talked to her since I was like 17. WTF!
Before I could respond, the office door opened. In walked my sister, and not too far behind her, P’Nee Anderson in all her grown, fine ass glory.Damn!
Many Years Earlier. . .
The Fallout
It was the last day of school before summer break. While all the other kids were ecstatic, I was mortified because it meant that I would have to spend another summer in Clover with my father. I had rather not do that ever again. Now, I just had to get up the courage to tell my mother before my father came to pick me up.
My daddy drove to Augusta, Georgia, to pick me up for the summer, and my mother came to Clover, South Carolina, to bring me back home. He should be here tomorrow since my mama told me last night that I needed to get packed. On theride home on the school bus, I thought about the uncomfortable talk that I would have to have with my mama.
It took almost twenty minutes to get to my bus stop once we left the school. I climbed off the bus with all my thoughts on my shoulders. My heart dropped to my feet at the sight of my daddy’s truck in the driveway.What is he doing here?He shouldn’t have been here until tomorrow or later.He never came to get me on the last day of school.
Before I walked through the front door of my house, I took a deep breath. When I walked in, he was on the living room couch with his eyes on the television mounted on the wall. My mama came out of the kitchen with a teacup in her hand. I didn’t need to ask what was in the cup because of the inscription on the mug. Every time my daddy was here, she used her “Jesus, give me peace and not hands” mug. She always drank a calming tea blend that she created out of it.
My daddy’s eyes shot over to me before a smile surfaced on his face. “Hey, baby girl! I came to get you a day early since the fair came into town early.”
My eyes jumped between my mama and daddy. I felt a panic in my chest. “Oh, okay. Mama, can you help me get my stuff together, please?”
Her head tilted slightly before she walked over to the dining room table and set her cup down. “Okay, baby. We’ll be right back, Jordan.”
She followed me upstairs and into my bedroom where she closed the door behind her. Her face was tight when her arms crossed over her body. “What’s going on? Usually, you’re excited to see your daddy. I had to tell you to pack yesterday when normally you start packing weeks in advance.”
I took off my book bag that was still on my back, then sat on the bed. “Mama, I was thinking that maybe I could just stayhere for the summer. We haven’t spent the summer together in a long time. We could go on a little vacation together.”
Silence filled the room for a moment. “P’Nee, you love going to Clover to see your father and spend time with your grandma. Furthermore, you never want to spend the summer with me.” She tittered with her words.
She was right. I loved my mother, but she was so boring. She had a keen method that turned everything into a lesson. At this point, I didn’t care about any of that. “Um, I know. Grandma can come and spend the summer with us.”
My mama stared at me blankly. “Now I know something is wrong. You want me, you, and my mama in the same house for an extended period.” She came over and sat on the bed next to me. “P’Nee, what’s going on?” She let out a sharp gasp, covered her hand with her chest, then asked, “Did your father touch you or something?”
She jumped up from her seat. I grabbed her arm when I saw her move toward my room door. “No, Mama! Not him, Mama!”
Her body stiffened before she turned to face me. There was this sense of dread in her eyes. “What do you mean, not him? Someone touched you, P’Nee?” She sat back in her seat. “Was it your brother?”
My head shook vigorously. “No, it wasn’t Josh.” We sat there in an uncomfortable silence. I knew that she wouldn’t ask me the question again. My shoulders lifted with my breath. “It was Uncle Jacob.”
For the next I wasn’t sure how long, I told her what happened in the wee hours of the morning that he stayed the night at my daddy’s house. My delivery was robotic as the tears fell down both of our cheeks. I was confused if what was done to me was considered rape because he didn’t stick his penis in me, but he did put his fingers in there.I cried the entire time and told him to stop, but he didn’t. When he was done, he told methat he would be back, and if I told anyone, he would hurt my grandma.
My mama hugged me and apologized. I didn’t understand what she apologized for, because she wasn’t there. After a few minutes, she kissed my forehead and cupped my cheeks in her hands. “You don’t have to go back there. Let me go talk to your daddy. You stay here, alright?”
I nodded before I wiped the last fallen tear from my cheek. She gave me a final forehead kiss before she left the room. I was filled with anxiety about what my daddy would say. I sat there on my bed lost in everything that happened and that I told my mama. I jumped when my room door opened. I stood when my daddy came into the room followed by my mama.
His soft gaze landed on me. He walked over to me and opened his arms. I reluctantly walked into them and allowed him to hold me. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” He pulled back from the hug, then connected his eyes with mine. “Baby girl, I have to ask, are you sure that happened and it wasn’t a bad dream or something?”
It felt like my heart stopped beating.He doesn’t believe me.Before I could respond, he yelped before he grabbed the back of his head and spun around to face my mother.
“Nigga, did you just ask her if she was sure that it happened or was it a fucking bad dream?” My mama’s voice roared. “I will fuckin’ kill you, Jordan.”
He held his hand out. “Pam, chill! I’m just asking because I can’t see my brother doing that shit to anyone, much less his niece. I just want to make sure she, um?—”
“You wanted to make sure what, nigga? That she wasn’t lying because you can’t see your brother being a pedophile. Is that what the fuck your ass wanted to see?” My mother punched him in his chest.
My eyes felt like they would fall out of their sockets.I never witnessed this side of my mother. Now, had this been my grandma, yes, it would be expected. Not only did my mama curse, but she was violent.
