He glared at me for a beat before he caught himself. “What I thought was that it was a one off. He swore that he would never do it again. I believed my brother. I kept him here close to me so that I could keep an eye on him.”
Josh’s eyes bucked. “You got to be fucking kidding me! What were you trying to do, be with him twenty-four hours a day? I asked you repeatedly why the hell my sister didn’t come anymore. Do you remember what the hell you said?”
My head tilted toward Jordan. I wanted to know that answer from the horse’s mouth. Everyone was tuned in for this answer. “So, you gonna answer that boy’s question, or am I going to have to bop your stupid ass on the head?” Granny Cat’s tone was sharp, jaw was tight, and eyes were tense.
“I told you that her mama was tripping. That wasn’t a lie completely,” he said with urgency. “She wouldn’t let her come for the summers.”
Granny Cat laughed. “Jordan, I’ve known you all your life, and this shit right here ain’t right. I’ve known you and your pedophile ass brother. You think Pam was supposed to let her child come back to a place where she wasn’t protected? See, Nee told me about that nightmare bullshit, and you need your ass whupped. While you over here eating our good food and asking stupid questions, you need to be apologizing with your whore ass.”
She extended her hand in Bolt’s direction. He scoffed, reached in his pocket, took out his cash, then gave her two hundred dollars. I wanted to laugh but felt it was inappropriate at the time. She really was on his ass about this whore mention payment as she called it.
Jordan’s stare hadn’t broken from me. There was wetness in the corners of his eyes. His head dropped. With it still lowered, he spoke. “I’m sorry, Nee. I just didn’t want to believe the shit.”
Bolt slammed his hand on the table. “Nah, that doesn’t work for me. First, you need to look her in her eyes if you really mean that shit. Also, putting an excuse in the apology voids the shit. If you don’t mean the shit, then keep the shit.”
I sat there and let Bolt be who he was.My protector.Josh cosigned with him.
Jordan took a deep breath before he made eye contact with me. “P’Nee, I should have protected you and believed you. I apologize that I didn’t believe you, and I was dead ass wrong. I should have kicked Jacob out on his ass.” He held his hands up. “This is not an excuse. I really thought I could help him.”
He went on to say other things, but I had already zoned out. I zoned back in when he apologized to Josh. Josh didn’t respond to the apology which I could tell disappointed Jordan.
“Jordan, you can’t help people like Jacob. Thank you for your apology, but I don’t need it. I forgave you a long time ago,” I told him.
I was ready for this part of whatever this was to be over. This dinner was for his benefit, not mine, so I hoped that he got what he needed to feel better. I understood that this was his olive branch, which was fine. What I also understood was that forgiveness didn’t equate to access.
A Little Time Later . . .
“They gave that man seventy-two years. What would he have gotten if he didn’t take the deal? Damn!” Josh was in just as much shock as the rest of us.
Yes, we knew that he would get time based on the guilty verdict, but I wasn’t sure if I expected that much time. “The prosecutor said that life was an option,” I responded.
Josh’s eyelids widened. “Sis, seventy-two years is life! He’s fifty years old already. He’s going to die in there, unless God wants him to suffer longer.”
I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to laugh, but I did. “I didn’t even think about it like that. You’re right! He’s gonna die in there, probably getting raped, since he’s a rapist.”
I slapped my hand over my mouth. My intrusive thoughts came out loud. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
Bolt snickered beside me. “You’re not wrong. That’s my hope. I hope he meets himself in everyone he meets there. He already met one.”
We were at Bolt’s house. Today was the sentencing of Jacob Nichols. The sentencing hearing had to be rescheduled from theoriginal date because he was assaulted in jail. He had to be hospitalized for almost three weeks. I wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but I was informed that the assault was sexual in nature.
Josh told me that Jordan struggled since our dinner. He knew that I forgave him, but he also knew that I didn’t want anything to do with him. That on top of his brother being sentenced today after a brutal assault took its toll. I felt some sympathy for him because he was still my father, but that still was not enough to encourage me to deal with him.
“I heard some of the victims plan to file a civil suit. They were waiting for the guilty verdict. Will that affect the farm?” I asked my brother.
Yes, I wanted Jacob to be held accountable, and I didn’t want a relationship with Jordan, but I didn’t want the family business to suffer. I knew that would affect my brother too.
Josh huffed, then said, “Jacob only owns five percent of the farm. I bought out a majority of his shares years ago. Dad owns forty, I own thirty, and you twenty-five.”
My drink went down the wrong way. I coughed. What did he mean that I owned a part of the farm? Bolt patted my back until I got myself together. “Wait, what? I own some of the farm business?”
Josh glared at me like I was slow. “Yes. Why would you not have ownership? You technically are a Nichols, P’Nee.”
I was sincerely confused. “I never knew that. Did my mama know that, or is it like a recent thing?”
Josh chuckled. “Pops said that there’s a trust in your name that all of your money goes into. It’s a high interest bearing account.” He must have seen my confusion because, why wouldn’t he tell me that? Like he read my mind, he answered my question. “He planned to tell you that night he was here for dinner, but that shit went kind of left.”
This was crazy! “So, there’s a bank account out there with my baby’s name on it?” Bolt shifted in his seat to face me. “P’Nee, you’ll be my suga mama?”
