“Something wrong, butterfly?”
I jumped, letting out a squeak of surprise. Once again, Radven had managed to sneak up out of nowhere, and my poor heart wasn’t prepared.
“I’m fine. I just needed a break,” I told him once my nerves had—slightly—recovered.
“I think we both know that isn’t entirely true.” He leaned against the alley wall beside me, his sharp eyes scanning the street beyond, ever watchful.
It was clear he had more thoughts on my current state, but apparently he decided he would hold his tongue and leave it to me to make the next move.
I held out for as long as I could before my frustration bubbled over.
“Do I look like some sort of…delicate flower or something?” I choked out. “Why are men so obsessed with this idea that sex must be all or nothing for a woman?”
They were both rhetorical questions, but Radven answered them anyway. “Have I ever given you the impression that I believe either of those things to be true?”
”If a woman makes a big deal out of sex—if she decides to ‘save’ it, or be selective about when and how she has it—the world calls her a prude,” I said, too worked up to do anything but continue ranting. “But if she acts like it’s no big deal, if she’s okay with having sexjust because she wants to, no strings attached, thenobviouslyshe must be lying to herself. Because god forbid she just wants to have a little fun. Or, I don’t know,live in the momentfor a change.” I kicked at the cobblestone street under my boots. “Either that or she must be a slut.”
“IknowI’ve never given you the impression I believe any ofthat.”
My anger deflated a little, and for the first time, I turned my head and really looked at him. His eyes were hazel tonight—new colored contacts, I guessed—and rather than give his hair the dull, tousled look he’d preferred in his disguises so far, he’d tied it back. His clothes were still relatively nondescript—at least compared to what most people around here were wearing—but I noticed he’d acquired a printed scarf with embroidery along the edges. And a long, dark green coat with an enviable number of pockets. Apparently even Radven, with his penchant for blending in, couldn’t resist getting a little dressed up for a good party.
“You, sir, aren’t completely innocent here,” I pointed out. “Don’t pretend like you’re not obsessed with me being a virgin.”
“I’m interested, not obsessed,” he replied casually. “Believe me, butterfly, there’s a difference.” He’d produced a dagger from somewhere up his sleeve, and he spun it around in his fingers. “I’d be happy to drop the subject, but I believe you’re forgetting about the deal we made back in the woods.”
Oh shit.He was right—Ihadforgotten our deal. He‘d revealed something about himself that no one else knew—that he was, somehow, incapable of ever falling in love—and in exchange, I’d promised to open up about my virginity and supposed ‘repressed desire’. Or something equally juicy. Only we’d been interrupted before I could fulfill my part of the bargain.
“But I’m feeling generous today,” Radven continued, “so if you prefer to give me some other great secret about yourself, something that has nothing to do with the subject at hand, then I’ll consider it a fair trade and our deal satisfied.”
I sighed. “As I know I’ve told you before, I’m not exactly brimming with juicy secrets here.”
“Then save it.” Radven’s eyes flashed as he pulled them away from the street and met my gaze. He looked like he wanted to devour me whole. “Someday, you’ll have a secret I want. I’ll take that one instead."
36
Sealing the Bargain
Afuturesecret.
Radven’s new offer was intriguing. One side of me wondered if he’d taken pity on me and this was his attempt to give me an easy way out of our bargain—after all, there was no guarantee I’d even have some sort of big, juicy secret in the future.
The savvier side of me was absolutely convinced this was a trap.
“Who decides when the secret is given?” I demanded.
“I do,” he replied immediately, slipping the dagger he’d been twirling back up in his sleeve. He’d clearly thought about this. “It’s only fair, considering you’re the one who isn’t fulfilling our original deal. You get the benefit of time, as well as foreknowledge. I get the benefit of having the complete power to call in the debt.”
I was probably an idiot for even considering it…butI was done talking about my virginity with these brothers. And given that I wasn’t the sort of person who generally kept secrets anyway…
“Deal,” I said before I could stop myself. I stuck out my hand to shake on it.
He grasped my fingers in his, his eyes shining with something wild as he echoed, “Deal, butterfly.” His lips curled up as he added, “Though this isn’t how I’d prefer to seal the bargain.”
Heat sizzled through me, crackling up my arm from where our hands still met. And I realized how stupid I’d been, angst-ing over Octavian when there was a man right here who was willing to give me everything I’d been asking for—with enthusiasm.
“How would you seal it, then?” I asked quietly, the flush already rising up my neck.
His response was to pull me closer, his smile deepening. “By finishing what we started last night.”
