Octavian, to his credit, at least looked a little shame-faced. “If I gave you the impression that I don’t think you can make your own decisions, I apologize. That was never my intention.”
It wasn’t a full apology, but it was a start.
“I hope you know by now how much I respect and admire you,” he said, stepping close enough that I could feel the heat from his muscled chest, even through his shirt. I was forced to tilt my head way back to continue meeting his eyes. “You’ve had your life upended, and yet here you are, resilient and smiling when others would have been cowering in a corner somewhere. There’s a temerity in you, and a vibrancy, and—” Something shifted in his eyes. “And then you do something, or say something, that reminds me of just how young, how innocent you are. And I wonder how much of that optimism comes from inexperience.”
I bristled at that, but I felt the truth of it, too—Iwasyoung and inexperienced compared to him. Compared to most people my age, even. And not just sexually—but inlife.There was nothing in my past that even came close to the things he’d experienced, either the good or the bad. I was completely naïve when it came to dealing with things like relationships, or…most things, honestly, outside of the worlds I created in my stories back home.
Octavian saw the shift in my eyes.
“This isn’t about me not trusting you,” he said quickly. His hand came up, his fingers flitting along the edge of my jaw. “This is about desperately wanting to keep you safe from harm. Even harm that comes from me.”
I wanted to tell him that I knew about Esmerine, that I could only imagine the pain and loss he’d experienced, but what did it matter if he couldn’t remember her?
Instead, I said, “You won’t harm me.”
His blue eyes flickered in the lanternlight. “You can’t know that.”
I didn’t. But I knew that I wasn’t going to becomelessnaïve and inexperienced by refusing to take a chance.
“Does that mean you don’t want to dance after all?” I said. “Because if you’re afraid that my heart isn’t strong enough for you, then I’ll just go find that other nice man who—”
He caught me up in his arms, and before I could even finish my thought, he swept me out into the sea of dancers, and everything else fell away.
35
A Dance with Octavian
I’dforgottenhowgracefulOctavian could be.
I’d forgotten what it felt like to be spinning around in his arms, floating, caught up in the dance. I’d forgotten how beautifully we moved together, how lovely and light and elegant he made me feel when we twirled as one.
In his arms, it was easy to ignore everything else. There was only the music and his strong arms around me. I didn’t even have to think about where to put my feet—it was as if I’d known how to dance like this all my life. My layered skirts billowed around me as I spun, and I felt like something wild and beautiful and otherworldly. Octavian watched me, his azure eyes burning with a dark intensity.
For a moment, it was just like that first night—when he was all charming smiles and I was all breathless enthusiasm and there was nothing more complicated between us.
When the song ended and another began, we kept dancing. But I felt the press of unspoken words in my throat, and I could only ignore them for so long.
“Did you find Radven and Alastor?” I blurted as we twirled by the orchestra. It wasn’t the most important of my questions, but it was the easiest.
Octavian gave a single nod. “They confirmed what Talon told us—that the additional armed forces and defenses that put my brothers on high alert are here to help protect the town from roving beasts.” His expression went hard. “Something is very wrong in Therador. We don’t know if the Circle is to blame or if it goes beyond even them.” His gaze softened on me as he added, “We should be safe here, though, at least for the time being. Talon’s birds are keeping watch for zhespers, and his network of contacts within the town is more extensive than I realized. We’ll know if Laitha or Mordren or any other potential threats set foot within the walls, and even if they do, the crowds will help us disappear.”
“So they can’t…sense us?” I asked. “Laitha can’t use her power to, I don’t know, sniff us out among all these people?”
He hesitated. “It’s possible. But it’s not easy. And she’d have to have something that contained our individual essence—like hair, or blood.” His eyes sharpened on mine. “Did she bleed you when you were her prisoner?”
“I—” I was so startled by the question that it took me a minute to form words. “No.”
“Take a lock of your hair?”
“Not to my knowledge.” This was all starting to skeeve me out a little.
“Then we should be fine.”
Despite his assurances, this conversation had unsettled me. And for the first time this evening, I felt a chill ripple down my spine.
Octavian noticed the change in me.
“You’re safe, Marigold,” he said, his deep voice like a wave sweeping over me, trying to draw me back into the warm security of his waters. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
