“Forgive me,” he rasped. “I shouldn’t have just—”
I silenced him by tilting my face up and kissing him again.
His arms slid around me, pulling me tight against his body. During our first kiss back at the masquerade, he’d been in complete control of himself—using his handsome smile and warm charms to draw me in, teasing and flirting with practiced ease.
This was different. This was desperate, hungry. His hands moved over my back, touching me everywhere as if to assure himself that I was, as I claimed, free of harm despite his fear and guilt.
His touch was like fire, hot and wild and spreading over my skin, burning where it roamed and leaving pulsing embers of sensation in its wake. His lips were unyielding. I felt like a leaf caught up in the wind, pulled about by a force much stronger than me—powerless yet unafraid, instead marveling at the exhilaration of flight. I was floating, and burning, and dizzy with the thrill of it.
He leaned forward, shifting me so that my back pressed against the side of the bath. The cool stone was a stark contrast to the heat of my skin—and to his, which continued to blaze beneath my spread fingers as he leaned against me. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and I relished the taste of him. Not sweet and tart, like the first time we kissed, but as alluring and layered as the rest of him.
This was a side of him I hadn’t seen before—as untamed as the beast he’d kept hidden from me. Now I could see it, feel it,tasteit—the animal in him, the part that answered only to instinct and primal urges.
His teeth grazed my bottom lip. I whimpered against his mouth as pleasure shot through me, and he took that as encouragement. His hands moved down, scooping me up and lifting me from the bathwater. My legs hooked around him automatically as he set me on the edge of the basin, then dipped his head and kissed me deeply once more.
It wasn’t until then, with the cold air hitting my skin as the suds dripped off my body, that the conscious part of my brain become hyperaware once more that we were both already completely naked. And the way our hips were locked together—allowing me to feel every carnal inch of him between my legs—made it impossible to ignore exactly where this was going.
A frisson of panic shivered down my spine. Octavian must have felt me stiffen, because he froze, then pulled back slightly, practically shaking with the effort of holding himself back. His eyes were heavy-lidded and dark with desire, and a tremor went through my core, even as I battled the knot in my stomach.
“I’m fine,” I assured him, my voice scratchy. “I just…” I would have thought it was impossible to feel even hotter, but I could sense the flush spreading up my face. “I’m not very experienced in this area. I just feel like I should warn you before we go any further. And maybe request that we keep things gentle at first when we get to the…uh…”
Octavian pulled further away without releasing me, the lust-fueled haze in his eyes giving way to confusion, then, abruptly, understanding.
I could see the exact moment everything clicked into place for him. “You’re a virgin.”
“Guilty as charged,” I replied, keeping my voice light even though I was beginning to wish I hadn’t said anything at all. I hadn’t wanted to make a big deal out of this…I just didn’t want there to be any surprises in the middle of everything, especially when he clearly knewexactlywhat he was doing—and how to do it very, very well.
Judging by Octavian’s face, though, we’d already zoomed pastbig dealand were well on our way intothis-changes-everythingterritory. His arms were still around me, but he’d gone very rigid. His breathing was ragged.
And I was starting to worry. I hadn’t wanted to stop—in fact, I very much wanted to continue, to give myself over to those primal urges that burned between us—but he was unmoving.
“I just thought you should know before…you know,” I said, looping my arms around his neck and trying to pull him back toward me, desperate to recapture that fire, that yearning, that wild, overwhelming hunger.
I might as well have been attempting to move a hundred-year-old tree, for all the good it did me. Octavian didn’t budge.
“I assumed you had…” He cleared his throat, which sounded like a small avalanche. “My impression was that inyourworld, most women your age have some level of sexual experience.”
“Most women do,” I said. My flush had spread all the way down to my breasts. “But some women choose to wait. For many reasons.”
He absorbed that information with an unreadable expression.
“It’s not a big deal, I promise.” I tried to pull him toward me again, and when that didn’t work, I leaned toward him instead, bringing my mouth to the side of his neck. I only managed to brush my lips against his throat before he pulled back once more.
“Why did you wait?” he asked.
“Is this really what you want to do right now?” I replied. “I’m happy to have this conversation, but I can’t see why it can’t come later. After the fun stuff.” I flashed him what I hoped was an inviting, seductive smile, even though throwing myself at him like this was starting to feel uncomfortable. And more than a little embarrassing. “It doesn’t matter why I waited.”
“Of course it matters!” He finally released me, taking a step back and running a hand through his short hair.
“Why?” I demanded, still confused as to why he was reacting this way. Radven had practically beenthrilledby the news that no man had ever had me before. I crossed my arms across my chest, suddenly feeling very exposed.
And then I remembered something Radven said to me:Oak would never intentionally deceive a woman—he’s too honorable for that.
“Oh,” I said, realization dawning on me. “This is about what you told me in the woods. About not being able to love me. You’re worried that because I waited so long to lose my virginity, this means more to me than it does to you.”
He hesitated. “I understand that this can be an emotionally complicated event for—”
“Oh, please,” I interrupted, starting to feel a little pissed. “You’re the one who kept talking about indulging inlittle pleasures. That’s all I’m trying to do. And anyway, it’smyvirginity. Can’t I be trusted to make my own decisions about it?” I drew my legs up out of the water, then rose, looking around for my towel.
