My breath caught in my throat, and I suddenly remembered a moment back in my world, when we’d been running from the Tendrils—when he’d carried me in his arms, and I’d leaned close and breathed in the scent of him: musk and amber andblood.
And just like that, I believed it—that there was a beast in him, something wild and feral just waiting for the chance to burst free. The charming, protective Octavian was only one side of the coin—and the other side was currently staring back at me with carnal, animal hunger.
And then, just as quickly, it was gone.
“Once that was true,” he said, any wildness in him once again hidden behind a blank, emotionless mask. “But no longer.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, leaning closer despite myself. “I could have sworn I just saw—”
“I’m sure.” His voice was like a thunderclap, and I reeled back as if I’d been smacked.
Almost instantly, he was back to his normal self.
“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing the side of his face. “I didn’t mean…” He exhaled with a shuddering grumble, then started again. “Forgive me, Marigold. I’m just not who—orwhat—these people think I am anymore.” His eyes met mine again, those deep azure pools drawing me back in. “There’s something my brothers and I probably should have mentioned to you before.”
My heart thumped in my throat, making it hard to swallow. “What?”
“The curse lingers,” he said, every word heavy. “We thought our full powers would return to us when we came back to Therador, but they haven’t.”
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. “You mean you physicallycan’tshift anymore.”
He shook his head. “I cannot. And my brothers can’t access their gifts, either.”
It was clear, despite the apparent rejection of his ‘hero’ title, that he truly felt the loss of that other side of himself—that it pained him.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s the Circle who must answer for what they’ve done to us.”
“Wait, what are your brothers’ gifts?” I leaned closer in spite of myself.
He hesitated, then said, “I don’t think they will mind me telling you, given the circumstances. Radven’s shouldn’t come as a surprise. He has—had—the ability to change his appearance at will. One tug of his hair and he could change its color or length. One blink of his eyes and they could become a different size or shape. He could change his height, his weight, even the pitch of his voice. As you can imagine, he found his talent quite useful.”
I remembered a moment at the edge of the woods above Far Meadow—when Radven had yanked at his hair in vain before giving up and resorting to disguising himself with colored contacts and hair powder. That hair-pulling must have been an attempt to access this special ability of his.
“What about Alastor?” I asked.
“Ah, well Alastor’s is a little more complicated, and perhaps he should be the one to explain it fully,” Octavian rumbled. “But to put it simply—he was given visions of the future.”
I let that sink in, wondering what aspects of those visions Octavian didn’t feel he had the right to share with me. “So even though you’re back here, you still can’t access essence?”
“These powers have nothing to do with essence,” he said. Seeing the confusion on my face, he clarified, “You already know that everything in this world has essence, and that everyone has varying amounts of natural talent or ability with it. Some people have so little that they can’t even sense the essence around them, let alone manipulate it in any way. Most people have just a little—enough to help them coax the water in their washbasin to clean their laundry a little faster, or keep a rose blooming a day longer, or nudge a clump of dust out from under the bed. Just enough to make their daily lives a little easier. Radven and I fall into this category, as did Alastor, once—but again, that’s something he should probably explain to you himself. We can do a little with essence, but not much.”
I nodded, following along so far.
“Some people in this category,” he went on, “find they have a natural affinity for certain things—they connect more easily with the essence of plants, for instance, which helps their crops or garden flourish. Others take time to hone certain skills. Bakers might use it to bring out the sweetness in their pies. Warriors often attempt to use essence to nudge their blades and arrows to strike true, though in truth that requires more finesse than many want to admit.” He paused, looking to me to make sure I was still with him. “My brothers and I have used essence here and there, but none of us has ever had a particular talent for it. Ourgiftscome from a completely different source of power.”
“What about Laitha?” I asked, feeling like I was finally starting to make sense of this whole essence-thing. “And the rest of the Circle—they have a lot of essence?”
“Rarely, someone is born with truly great ability—they can access the essence of nearly everything, and they can manipulate it just as easily. They can even draw pure essence into themselves from the world around them, then discharge it again in a focused blast of pure energy and power.”
My breath caught, and Octavian nodded, apparently following my line of thought.
“When someone is born with this ability, they’re given the title of sorcerer or sorceress and adopted into the Circle,” he told me. “As I said, it’s very rare—only a handful of people every generation. When we were banished, there were only ten members of the Circle, though it’s possible that number has changed in the last decade.” He added, his eyes boring into me. “Youare powerful enough to claim the title of sorceress, Marigold.”
I’d been told that before, but his words still made me shiver. I lifted my hand free of the suds, double-checking that the strand of pearls was still tied to my wrist, even though I logically knew I would have noticed their absence immediately. The pearls were a comfort—not just because they kept me from unbearable pain, but also because they kept me from accidentally blasting my surroundings to smithereens.
There was a part of me, though—a part I hadn’t consciously acknowledged yet—that was secretly thrilled by the knowledge I had such power inside me. I’d never been the sort of girl who felt particularly powerful—or even especially confident—in her day-to-day life. And now here I was, suddenly in possession of a terrifying amount of magic.
