He chuckled. “I won’t attempt to dissuade you of that conclusion, but no. What I’m finding is that you are full of desire, and perhaps even aware of that desire, but that you are very dedicated to stifling it beneath a carefully constructed illusion of control.”
“Now you’re just mocking me.”
“I’m not mocking you at all. I’m simply making an observation.”
“An observation that’s pretty condescending.” I was already out of breath again, but I tried not to show it. “If you want the real truth about my feelings on desire and sex and virginity, then you know how to get it. Make me an offer.”
This time he responded with a full laugh. “I like this side of you, butterfly. Very well—what do you want in exchange for your truth?”
“That’s not how this works.” I was feeling a little more confident, now that I’d recognized thatIcould play this game, too. “I askedyouto make me an offer.”
That seemed to amuse him even more. “In that case, I’ll offer you a truth of my own. Something no one else knows about me.”
I finally looked up at him, trying to decide if I could trust him to share something meaningful and honest. I didn’t put it past Radven to bend the truth, but in this situation, in this little game, my gut told me to accept him at his word.
“Okay,” I said. “We have a deal.”
His grin widened.
“You first,” I said, before he could get any ideas. “And I want something good and juicy.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.” He didn’t go on immediately, and I could tell he was actually giving this some thought.
Finally, he looked down at me.
“I will never fall in love,” he said.
I tripped over a tree root.
Radven caught me by the arm before I could fall, but mentally I was still trying to recover.
“Like you’ve justdecidedyou’ll never love anyone?” I asked, struggling to keep pace with him.
“Not anyone,” he countered. “I love my brothers. But to most people, loving someone and beingin lovewith them are two different things.”
“Most people don’t believe falling in love is a choice,” I pointed out. “You can’t justdecideyou’ll never do it.”
“Except I made a bargain, years ago,” he said. “In exchange for something I desperately needed at the time, I gave up my ability to fall in love.”
I almost fell again, this time tripping over my own tired feet. “Wait, you gave up yourability to fall in love? That’s impossible.”
“Perhaps in your world,” he replied, no longer looking amused. “But not in this one.”
“How? Who has the power to take that away from you? And why would you even give it up in the first place?”
“If you want more secrets, you’re going to have to give me more of your own.”
I should have seen that coming. So instead I said, “You promised you’d tell me something no one else knows about you. Are you saying you’ve never told anyone else about this bargain you made? Not even your brothers?”
His steps slowed. “They know I made a bargain. And they know what I gained. But not what I gave up.”
And though what he’d confessed made zero sense, I could tell by the look in his eyes that it was absolutely true. This man, by some twisted magic, had been denied the ability to fall in love.
Everything I’d thought about Radven up until this moment twisted on its head, and I tried to make sense of this man as I saw him now—still dangerous, still full of secrets, and yet missing a piece of his heart that I’d previously assumed was essential. Even a man like Radven must feel the aching loss of something like that.
“Don’t look at me that way,” he said.
“What way?”
