50
The Truth
Ispentthenextfifteen minutes telling Esmer and Isaac about my last few days.
I felt a little crazy, at first, describing some of the things out loud—the portal of golden light, the world of Therador on the other side, the power I now knew I possessed—but neither Esmer nor Isaac questioned my sanity or suggested that I was making any of it up.
Naturally, I left out some of the more personal bits—the bath with Octavian, and my many adventures with Radven and his tongue—and I was grateful Esmer didn’t press for all the tawdry details, even though I was sure she could read between the lines. The two of them just let me talk, without question or comment, taking me at my word. It was…reassuring. And I was grateful, not for the first time, to have these two in my life.
“So we were right to freak out when you stopped responding to us a few days ago,” Esmer said when I was done. Her expression was guarded but thoughtful. “Half of Therador was trying to kill you. It’s a miracle you made it out of that alive.”
She was right, of course. But no matter how many times I told myself that it was better that I was home again, that this would keep more people from dying on my behalf, I couldn’t shake my guilt at how I’d left the brothers.
“This isn’t over,” I said softly.
“Of course it isn’t.” Isaac had been taking notes on his laptop as I told my story. Aside from the clacking of his fingers on the keys, he’d been silent the whole time—but the way he’d nodded along as I spoke made me think he wasn’t especially surprised by some of the things I’d shared. Now he looked up at me, a lock of his hair flopping across his forehead. “You have the ability to open a portal between worlds, Goldie. Do you realize howhugethis is? This is only the beginning.”
He slid closer to me on the couch, turning his laptop so I could see the screen. “See this map? The guys and I have been collecting data about people who’ve claimed to have traveled between worlds within the last couple of centuries. Some of their reports are less reliable than others, but we didn’t want to rule out anything. Each red dot on this map indicates a potential traveler, and if you click on them, you can see all the information we’ve gathered.”
This was all a little overwhelming, and I took another sip of my coffee as I gathered my thoughts.
“I don’t want this to be the beginning of anything,” I said finally. “If these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that creating a bridge between our world and Therador is bound to cause as many problems as it solves.”Still…I looked toward the corner, to the empty spot in the air where I’d tumbled through, and my heart panged. My eyes fell to the mug in my hands. “But I feel terrible for how I left them. If they get hurt or killed because of me…” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I feel like a coward, coming back here and leaving them to deal with that mess alone.”
For a moment, we sat in unmoving silence, and then Isaac reached out and gave me a comforting pat on the arm. It was so awkward it was endearing, and it temporarily broke my bubble of self-pity.
“I’m sorry,” I said, setting my mug on the table once more. “You guys came here to help me, not listen to me whine. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
Isaac stopped patting me. “You go back, of course.”
I looked over at him. “I know you and your friends probably want me to collect more data or whatever, but—”
“This isn’t about that. Or them. This is about what’s right foryou.”Isaac’s cheeks went pink again. “You wanted to help these Crestwood brothers even when you hardly knew them. Of course you’d want to help them now after everything you’ve been through together.”
“Idowant to help them,” I said. “The question is whether I help them more by going back or by staying here.” I shook my head. “I was souselessthere. Even though I had this great power inside me, I had no idea what to do with it. I was just in the way. I don’t want to put myself in the way again just to assuage my own guilt.”
“You weren’t completely useless,” Isaac countered. “Marigold, you opened a freakingportal! From both directions! And you blew up that basilisk—”
“That was dumb luck. I had no idea what I was doing.”
“It still counts. You think all those comic book heroes do everything right the first time they get their powers? No—they accidentally blow up all sorts of shit. But that’s how they learn.”
“I’m not a comic book character, Isaac.”
“No, you’re better.” His eyes were bright. “Marigold, what you have isreal. Real-life magic. You’re so special that all the most powerful people in Therador want you. Your great-great-great-grandparent or whatever literally came here fromanotherworld. None of this is a coincidence, Marigold. This is destiny. You can’t just ignore destiny.”
My doubt must have been plain on my face, because he glanced across the room and said, ”Esmer agrees with me, right?”
I looked over at her, too. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet during this part of the discussion.
She was leaning back in the chair, toying with one of the many rings on her fingers. Her eyes were distant and her lips were curled into a frown, almost as if she wasn’t listening to us at all and instead stuck in some unpleasant daydream.
“Esmer?” I said.
Her head jerked up, her eyes meeting mine. “I think…maybe you’re right, Goldie. Maybe it’s better for everyone if you just stay here and never go back.”
“You can’t mean that,” Isaac said.
“Of course I mean it!” She stood up abruptly. “Goldie’s right—more people are going to get hurt if she goes back. This isn’t a comic book, Isaac. And it isn’t a game. We’re talking about real people’s lives.”
