Betrayal
Theinstantthosestrange,glowing blue eyes met mine, my fear vanished. It was replaced by a deep, clawing sense of longing, so intense that I even forgot my pain.
In those mesmerizing blue eyes I saw such beauty that it stole my breath away. It was as if I was looking through the creature’s twisted body and seeing its true form beneath—and it was breathtaking. So wondrous and intoxicating that everything else paled in comparison.
The vulgen drew back, giving me the space to move, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it as I sat up. It made a soft sound in its animal throat, sweet as music.
What was I so worried about?I wondered as I extended my hand towards it. I could feel fear and anxiety and distress brushing at the back of my mind, like whispers in the distance, but I couldn’t remember what had inspired them in the first place. They seemed so silly, so absurd now with such beauty in front of me.
The longing had become a yawning ache in my chest, a hunger that sprouted from my very bones. In front of me stood a creature that could have been crafted from the very spirit of these woods, this land—made of dancing wind and forest streams and ancient trees, elegant and wild. When my fingers brushed against it, I felt another layer of my fears melt away, like the creature was peeling away all the bad parts of me and leaving only the good. In this blessed being’s eyes, I was beautiful and pure and flawless—there were no struggles, no shame, no worries within or without. There was only calm, and wonder, and a sense of ease I hadn’t known in as long as I could remember.
My fingers combed through the creature’s hair, and I marveled at the warmth, the softness. But it wasn’t enough. That longing inside me stretched and ached, begging for more. I wanted to run both my hands down the creature, to tangle myself in that wildness, to surround myself with the wind and the streams and all the glorious threads of the land that made up this perfect, beautiful being and—
Hot blood splattered across my face, and those otherworldly blue eyes went suddenly dark.
The vulgen fell to the side, its neck sliced cleanly through. I watched its body slump to the earth beside me as all those strange, wondrous feelings—the longing and the peace and the blissful sense that everything was right in the world—faded away.
In a matter of seconds, everything else—the fear and anxiety and horrible, unbearable pain—rushed to fill its place.
My stomach lurched, and I curled over, dry heaving. My skull was pounding so badly that I couldn’t even see straight, and—
“Close your eyes,” Alastor commanded. He grabbed me by the arm and hauled me up to my feet, and I was too sick to argue, or do more than wince at the pain of his touch. Closing my eyes helped with the dizziness, but it didn’t stop the nausea. Or theshiver.My skin felt like it was on fire, burning off—
Go beneath it, I reminded myself with the shreds of thought that remained.Find that other piece of yourself.
It was harder now, even though I’d done it before. My body was shaking, my stomach churning, my thoughts barely holding together.
But there it was, right where I’d left it. The piece of me that belonged tomyworld. If I could just figure out how to draw it out, or connect it back to home—
Another chorus of howls sounded from somewhere far too close, breaking my concentration. I whimpered—from fear, from frustration, from the utter hopelessness of it all—
“Don’t open your eyes foranything.” Alastor said from beside me. “I won’t let them reach you.”
He didn’t say what I knew we were both thinking—that one of them had managed to slip past him already. But I couldn’t think about that. I had toconcentrate.
Theshiveron my skin spiked, and I bit down on my tongue to keep from crying out. I was losing my grip on the part of me beneath the essence, under the pain. If I couldn’t break through the agony, I was lost.
Even with my hands clapped over my ears once more, I could hear the vulgen. Hear Alastor grunting and swinging his sword. Hear yelps of pain and bodies slumping to the ground.
Damn it, Marigold. Get your shit together and justdo this.This is your chance to stop being so freaking useless.I could feel both parts of me now—the part from home, and the part from Therador.
But another, fresh spike ofshivershattered my concentration again. Something wasn’t right. This was like the surge of essence I’d felt from Laitha. Or Mordren—
“Alastor,” I choked out amid the pain. “I think one of the Circle—”
I didn’t even finish that thought before someone grabbed me.
I screamed, kicking and writhing as I was lifted and thrown over a shoulder. I pounded against their back with my fists, my boot aiming for their ribs, and—
“Marigold,” Alastor grunted. “Curse it, Marigold, it’s me! Stop that!”
Oh.
He was moving now, almost running, and though I couldn’t hear the vulgen anymore, I didn’t trust that they were gone.
“Keep your eyes closed,” he ordered as if he could read my thoughts.
He didn’t need to tell me twice. The pain was overwhelming me again, tangling with the panic that had taken root inside me, and I didn’t have the strength to argue. Or to ask who—or what—had spooked Alastor enough to make him stop fighting and run.
