I shook my head. I didn’t want to.
“You already trusted me with your secret,” Xan continued.
My usual morning haze vanished instantly.
He rubbed his neck. “You’re from the past, as far as you can tell.”
“Yeah. I mean, I hadn’t, like, outright said that.” Nerves danced in my gut. My gaze flicked to Ezra, already feeling the dynamics of our little trio from last night shifting. “But I guess we can just put it all out there.”
“I need to put this out there.” Xan picked up my hand and put it between his. “Trust only comes from honesty, and I want your trust, Quinn.”
My first instinct was to say yes. But I held back.
“I’m the person who healed you.” Xan trembled. “And I had to tether you to do it.”
My first reaction was to laugh, so I did. “The Architect healed me, Xan… I don’t know how you…” I trailed off. My hand went to the necklace he had given me, which hung under my shirt.
Ezra’s impassive gaze bore down on me as if he could force the truth into my head with just his eyes. Opposite him, Xan curled in on himself, and his face turned into a blank mask. Even the usual glow of his eyes dampened.
I pulled my hand out from between his.
Xan only appeared in my life after the Architect woke. Everything about breaking into The Old Fortress had gone too smoothly. Once I found my magic, I’d literally been freed of every obligation because he—Xan, the Architect, the man who had helped me find it—commanded it.
I rubbed my lower back. “I can’t feel your tether.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever tethered,” Xan admitted. “But the others aren’t fully formed. It’s possible you can feel them because they’re not complete.”
My stomach twisted. “You know about the others?” I sucked in a breath and put my hands over the sides of my head. “Did you read my mind? Are you doing it right now?”
Xan laughed bitterly. “I honestly wish I were. I live by a set of rules that keep me out of people’s heads, but no one believes me.”
I let go of my head and forced myself not to panic. Xan hadn’t read my mind, or if he had, he was terrible at it. But Xan was the Architect, who wouldn’t let rules hold him back. Right?
His words from the first day we met came back to me. ‘I often wish I were someone I’m not… and sometimes I want it so badly, I lie even to myself.’
My heart squeezed, and I looked into my friend’s baby blues. For a second, that line was a mirror. I saw myself in him. Once again, I found my reflection bracing for disappointment.
“The Architect trapped me in this castle!” I started violently shaking. “He trapped me here. Took my freedom and tried to shape my future, like I was just a vessel to grow his family.”
Xan clenched his fists. “Someone else’s words. Not mine. I never wanted any of that.” He hugged himself. “I just wanted to save your life. I made a split-second decision, and I wouldn’t change it.”
“You just wanted to save me?” I repeated. “Am I supposed to believe that?”
Ezra uncrossed his arms, and Xan put a hand on his forearm before he could speak.
“No. You’re right. I’m lying. I’m lying to myself even.” Xan swallowed. “My family is small, but I have plans to expand as much and as many times as it takes. I want to make a haven for every outcast and misunderstood fool who needs a home.” Xan straightened his shoulders. “And yes. Your power would add to my plans, and I saved you, hoping that you would join my ranks.But not expecting it.” Xan leaned forward and pulled his pendant out from under my tunic. “Quinn, your life is your own. I meant every word when I gave this to you.”
The sound of my breathing rang in my ears. “You planned this. All of this.”
Xan released the pendant and rubbed his hands together. “Some of it, yes. I orchestrated our first meeting, though I never in a million years thought it would end with me stripping Horax of his pub and then breaking into my own ally’s home.”
The Architect raided The Rooster the day after I had breakfast with Xan.
“Did you raid The Rooster because of me?” I asked.
Xan nodded. “Horax owned that pub before I took the castle. I thought leaving it to him would build trust. Instead, he built a black hole, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
“No one should go hungry in my castle.” His gaze bore into me. “You shouldn’t have gone hungry under my care. I’m fixing it.” He ran his hand through his hair. “We’ve just grown so fast. It’s long overdue for us to have a communal eating area that’s free for everyone.”
