I was definitely missing something here.
“Do you hang out socially?” Xan asked.
My heart fluttered. We had once, not a date, but Rowan joined me and my friends at The Rooster for dinner. “My schedule’s pretty crazy, but we’ve managed to get to see a little more of each other.”
Rowan grunted.
I blatantly stared at him, and the barest shake of his head confused me even more.
His lips curled into a tense smile. “And how long have the two of you known each other?”
“We just met this morning,” Xan answered. “I ambushed Quinn as her name’s come up a few times.”
Rowan’s smile turned into a grimace. “Commander Ezra has also been helping Quinn with physical training.”
I scraped the last bits off my plate and nodded in agreement. The table went quiet, which surprised me again. Xan had been a ray of sunshine so far, and with a smart mouth, he wasn’t afraid to open. Rowan wasn’t always as snappy a talker, but I’d never seen him this uncomfortable before. What if... Wait, how did contracts work? Angela had seven, apparently. And Xan wasn’t having kids with Ezra. What if he was also in a contract with Angela?
Oh, wow. Awkward. That would explain why Xan and Ezra were struggling as well.
I swallowed my last bite and decided to put Rowan out of his misery. “Well, I guess I better go keep training.”
Xan smiled and looked at Rowan. “Thanks for letting me borrow her. I’ll make sure our next breakfast doesn’t conflict with her training.”
I raised an eyebrow at Ezra’s friendly partner, already planning on ambushing me again, while Rowan nodded tightly.
Yeah. This had awkward lover drama written all over it.
I stood and pulled Rowan out of his seat. For a moment, I thought he was going to shake off my grip, but he squeezed my hand.
“Thanks again for breakfast, Xan. Maybe I’ll see you around?” I waved.
Xan smiled. “You will. I’ll make sure of it.”
I wrinkled my nose and hurried out of The Rooster toward the coliseum. “Sorry about that. I was ambushed.” I took a deep breath. “Do you want to talk about Angela?”
Rowan stumbled, actually stumbled, and came to a halt.
I stopped walking and searched his face. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Rowan said, too fast. “I don’t want to talk about Angela. My dad’s dealing with the contract, but the Moores are pissed, and it’s looking like my brother has to take the heat for it, which is the opposite of what I wanted when I left home. I wanted to help… shit, and now I’m talking about it.”
I put my other hand over his and squeezed. “I like that you talk to me. I like hearing about your family. It was just me and my dad. I can’t imagine having a sibling to rely on and who relied on me.” Rowan had brothers. I kept losing track of how many there were, but I knew they existed. “Which brother is it, and is he upset?”
Rowan let out a stiff breath. “Niall, my oldest brother. He’s not upset; this isn’t his first contract either… but I left to make our lives better, not to be a burden.”
A burden. The word echoed inside me, mixing with my own experiences. “You’renota burden.” Words I had spent my life struggling to tell myself poured out of my mouth. “Your family loves you, right?”
Rowan nodded.
“They want to help you. I don’t even know them, but they raised one of the most compassionate, loyal men I’ve ever known. I refuse to believe they consider you a burden.” Tears tried to spring to my eyes, but I didn’t let them.
Rowan cupped my cheek, just like he had a few days ago, forcing my blurry gaze to meet his.
“You’re not either, Q-tip,” he said softly, clearly picking up that he’d struck a nerve. “I don’t know who made you think you were, but if you give me a name, I’ll beat the shit out of them.”
A tear squeezed out of the corner of my eye despite my attempts at control. The only name I could give him was myself. Yes, I was a product of my dad, my peers, and my doctors’ various pieces of advice… but I was the one who’d backed away because I hadn’t known what else to do.
“No one’s a burden.” Rowan’s gaze bore into me. “Everyone makes bad decisions and needs help.”
