“Scared of what?”
“That the doctor will tell me that I’m not pregnant and this is all in my head. But I’m also equally scared that he’ll tell me Iampregnant. Then I’ll start believing we’ll get our baby, only for something to happen and suddenly we lose the baby—andI get really sad and angry at the world again.” Panic exploded inside her at the thought. She couldn’t even imagine getting that positive test, only to lose them. But the truth was, a loss in the first trimester was common. Too common.
“Hey.” Colt stepped closer and cupped her cheeks. “You’re not alone. I’m with you every step of the way.”
“I know. And I know that should probably be enough, but I’m still scared.”
His thumb caressed her cheek. “Why don’t we make a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow? It will give us a few hours to wrap our heads around all of this.”
Tomorrow. Would it feel any less scary then?
She nodded, because what else could she do? Theydidneed to know one way or the other.
Suddenly, she needed to feel his arms around her. She needed his closeness and his breath at her ear and the calm of his heartbeat against hers.
She leaned into his chest, and the second his arms wrapped around her, the fear quieted. Not all the way, but enough to make her heart stop thumping so loudly.
“I’ll step out front and call the doctor now,” he said quietly, after they parted.
“Okay.” And she’d go back to the yard and pretend everything didn’t suddenly feel different.
The next couple of hours were a blur of smiles and nods and trying to focus on conversations that she was barely following. She forced herself to eat something, even though her stomach rebelled. She wasn’t sure if that was nausea or nerves.
Clara kept watching her. But then, of course she did—they were best friends. They knew each other too well to hide anything.
Noah did the same.
They were just cleaning up when her brother touched her arm. His voice low, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me. I can see something’s going on.”
She cocked her head. “You’re one to talk. You’ve been quiet all afternoon.” Despite the distraction, she’d noticed.
His brows lowered. “Bonnie called.”
Indie gasped, momentarily pulled out of her own haze. “When?”
“Last night.”
“What did she say?”
“Not much. She just seemed to want to ask questions. About me and Amber Ridge. About you.”
Bonnie had asked about her? “Did you find out anything abouther? Where she’s living? What she’s doing?”
“She said she’s working at a women’s shelter as a programs coordinator.”
Indie pulled back. She’d never pictured her sister working a job like that. But then, she didn’t know who her sister was at all anymore. “It sounds like she’s doing okay. And it’s good that she called you.”
He bumped her hip. “Youcould call her.”
She shook her head quickly. “No. She never liked me.”
“She liked you, Indie.”
She scoffed. “All we did was argue.”
