“Mostly. I don’t think anyone’s ever completely healed of what hurts us, but I love myself enough to love him too. And I will never leave him again. I’ll love him until the day I die. You can trust me with him. That’s a promise I make to you. So, by choosing me, you’d choose him too.”
The silence that followed felt long and drawn out. There was sadness in Sylvia’s face. And some regret. Maybe also some confusion.
Finally, she said softly. “I appreciate you talking to me, dear. I’m going to think about what you’ve said.”
It wasn’t a promise that things would improve. But Indie had done what she could. The rest was up to Sylvia.
CHAPTER 24
Indie crouched low beside the bay window and adjusted the zoom on her camera, the soft morning light through the sheer curtains casting a golden glow over the newborn baby. He lay on a white cushion and was wrapped in a white muslin blanket.
One leg had escaped, and Indie was struggling not to stare at those chubby toes. At his chunky thigh that resembled a soft marshmallow.
Then he tipped his head back and yawned. It made her chest ache.
She ignored the ache, forcing herself to focus on the job. She changed the shot to his face, capturing the creases of his shut eyes. The soft O shape of his lips.
Gorgeous. Baby Samuel was so gorgeous that when she looked at him, her heart both hurt and yearned.
“I so love his yawns.” Martha, the mother, sighed.
“Well, being wrapped in a straitjacket makes him tired,” her husband, Grant, said and chuckled.
Indie forced a smile to her lips. “Some babies love it, others hate it.”
“Do you have kids?” Martha asked.
Indie tensed before forcing her muscles to ease as she snapped more photos of Samuel from above. “Not yet.”
Yet…the word hung in the air, heavy and stagnant. She’d always believed she would. But now? Now she wasn’t so sure. Yes, she’d said she might be ready to explore other options, but every time she started looking into it, her heart hurt. A physical pain at the prospect of letting go of the idea of carrying her own baby. Of never feeling those kicks or experiencing that swollen belly.
This was why she preferred not to do newborn shoots anymore. There was so much baby talk, and it always brought up questions about her own family structure…if she hadplansfor kids. And while dancing around those painful questions, she had to sit in this newborn bubble that had nothing to do with her.
“That man who walked you to the door is your husband, right?”
Grant nudged his wife’s shoulder. “Martha, don’t be nosy.”
Indie shook her head. “No, it’s okay. Yes, Colt’s my husband. We’re going somewhere right after the shoot, so he’s just waiting for me.”
Two weeks had passed since Sylvia’s attack, and Colt was still trailing her to every appointment. He escorted her to the door of each house. Followed her into the mountains when it was an outside shoot. And when he worked, she went with him to the park and edited.
It probably wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t felt so nauseous and tired lately. The stress and lack of sleep was really kicking her butt.
“Grant, do you want to kneel at Samuel’s feet and put your hand on his waist?” Indie said softly. “And Martha, can you kneel at his head and touch his hands?”
The two got into the frame, and Indie stood above them to snap some images. When she took the side-view shots, she sawthe look on Martha’s face. The love. The devotion. It made Indie want to cry.
Crap, did she actually have tears in her eyes?
She quickly blinked them away as she snapped more photos. “That’s beautiful, guys.”
Good. That was good. She hadn’t sounded as emotional as she felt at all.
“Do you want to pick him up, Martha? And then, Grant, you could cuddle in nice and close.”
Martha lifted him, and Samuel did the newborn scrunch. Indie snapped the photo.
“He’s so perfect,” Martha whispered.
